People say, "Marriage is the tomb of love." After marriage, the woman sheds her white wedding dress, and the man sheds his youthful image; together they build a family and live happily ever after. However, in the daily grind of life, with couples seeing each other day and night, various conflicts inevitably arise. Faced with these conflicts, some complain and nag, some ignore each other, some run away from home, and some even smash dishes and bottles, engaging in physical fights...
Among the various types of marital conflicts, while arguing and running away from home are annoying and infuriating, the "cold war" is the most damaging!
What's more terrifying than divorce is domestic emotional abuse!
The silent treatment between husband and wife—a form of spiritual torture!
The silent treatment puts more pressure on the other person than physical or verbal abuse. It is a passive and negative behavior. Couples in a silent treatment are often competing with each other, comparing who cares less about the relationship and who loves the least. Often, neither party will admit fault first, and whoever speaks first loses.
The destructive power of the Cold War lies in its blocking of communication channels between couples. Communication is a process of exchanging thoughts and feelings between people. Sincere communication helps couples understand each other's thoughts, avoid misunderstandings, and thus enhance their relationship. If a couple has a conflict over anything, as long as they communicate well, the problem can be easily resolved. Even if they have a big argument, things won't get too bad. The saying "couples quarrel in bed and make up in bed" is based on communication.
A marital cold war may appear calm on the surface, but beneath the surface, a storm is brewing. During a cold war, both partners often swallow their unspoken words, retreating into their own corners, refusing to come out, treating each other as if they don't exist, inflicting mental torture with indifference and neglect. This allows resentment to accumulate, eventually turning into hatred. When hatred reaches a certain point, anger erupts like a volcano…
Anyone who's seen "The Ex-Files 3" knows that the male and female leads, though deeply in love, parted ways due to a cold war. After an argument, they entered a period of silence; the woman ran away from home, and the man didn't try to stop her. During this time, neither contacted the other, waiting and hoping the other would compromise, sending and then deleting text messages. Fear, worry, and sorrow permeated the entire film. Even though they were both exhausted and heartbroken, neither was willing to back down. Ultimately, their five-year relationship broke down, and it was too late for regrets…
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference! If we compare arguing and bickering between husband and wife to external injuries, then the cold war is an internal injury. External injuries can be healed with a little medicine, but internal injuries seep into the body's internal organs and are difficult to cure.
How to deal with the Cold War?
In married life, a moderate period of silence can give each other space to cool down and prevent impulsive actions from escalating conflicts. However, if the silence lasts too long, with both partners remaining stubborn and refusing to admit mistakes or compromise, it will create distance between them and eventually cause their relationship to cool down.
After a cold war begins, what we should do is not complain, grumble, or curse, but constantly reflect on ourselves and think about how to improve the relationship. During this time, it is crucial not to cut off all means of communication; your phone should always be switched on so that you are available when your partner tries to contact you, thus missing an opportunity to resolve the conflict.
During the Cold War, if the other side voluntarily compromises, give them a way out. Don't be coy or unreasonable; give them a chance to explain, then forgive and accept their actions. If the other side refuses to compromise, reflect on your own actions, consider where you went wrong, put aside your pride, break the silence, and proactively admit your mistakes to end this cold war as soon as possible. Taking a step back isn't a big deal.
In conclusion, the Cold War was not a chaotic war. After the Cold War broke out, winning or losing was not the most important thing; the goal was to achieve a win-win situation. We should know how to control the situation, when to end it, and how to end it. We should also help each other to better understand their mistakes, correct them, and reconcile with each other.
The above content is exclusively authorized for use only and may not be reproduced without the copyright holder's authorization.
