Marriage is a major life event. Some people want to find an older man or woman, while others want a younger man or woman. So what is the ideal age difference between husband and wife? We asked some people who have been through it.
Mr. Zhao (46 years old): Meeting my wife brought light back into my life.
I was once married, but we divorced after a year due to personality clashes. For many years, I lived alone until I met my wife, who is 21 years younger than me. Initially, of course, I had many concerns; the age difference was too great, and I was afraid we wouldn't be able to get along and that my marriage would fail again. But my wife and I are soulmates, and she has always been steadfast in her support of my entrepreneurial endeavors. We went through the most difficult times together. Our life after marriage is very happy. Her youthful energy seems magical; I feel like my life has regained its light.
Ms. Li (30 years old): It's still easier to get along with people of the same age.
From my first relationship, I've always had a standard for myself: my boyfriend must be at least two years older than me, but no more than ten. I believe that older men will look older than me, and our thinking will definitely be on different levels. He would think I'm immature, and I would feel there's a generation gap between us, making it difficult to have meaningful conversations. My current husband is three years older than me, and marrying him was a well-thought-out decision. We get along very well, and our married life is very happy. It proves I made the right choice; for a good marriage, the age difference must be within ten years.
What's an ideal age difference between spouses? Let the data speak for itself.
According to data cited in "A Sociological Analysis of Age Difference Between Chinese Spouses," couples with an age difference of 5-8 years, especially when the man is 5-8 years older than the woman, tend to have the happiest and most stable marriages . This paper's research sample consists of thousands of couples with age differences of 3, 3-5, and 6 years or more. The survey found that couples within this age range have happier lives, which surprised many.
Scholars at the University of Bath in the UK also conducted a follow-up survey of 1,534 couples. The results showed that if the man is more than 5 years older than the woman, both of them have received higher education, and neither of them has a history of divorce, then they will have the best couple model for effectively maintaining their marriage.
Researchers say that couples where the wife is more than 5 years younger than the husband are least likely to have conflicts, and their divorce rate is 1/6 that of other marriages.
A large age gap isn't necessarily a good thing.
Experts have analyzed this result and found that there are two main reasons why these types of marriages have a high happiness index:
First, it fulfills women's desire for a "three-in-one" partner . Generally speaking, women's ideal partner should have the maturity of a father, the affection of a brother, and the vitality of a friend, and a five-year age difference between the man and woman seems to achieve this perfectly.
Secondly, there is less competition within the family . When the husband is older, the woman feels a sense of security, and there is relatively less power struggle between the couple.
However, everything has two sides, and couples with a large age gap also have some problems that cannot be ignored.
First, there are material factors . After marriage, couples have to work together to support their family. However, if there is a large age gap between the two partners, with one partner being older, their labor capacity is effectively reduced, which may affect the family's income level.
Furthermore, if the older spouse already possessed substantial wealth before marriage, the couple misses out on the years they could have spent struggling together to make a living. As the saying goes, "Only by remembering past hardships can one appreciate present happiness." While material security may not be an issue, the lack of shared struggles could potentially damage their relationship.
Secondly, there's the issue of fertility , which is also crucial. Studies have shown that a significant age difference between couples can affect the fetus's intellectual and physical development . If the woman is older, she may have missed the optimal time for childbearing, and her physical condition may no longer be suitable for giving birth to a healthy baby. If the man is older, his sperm quality may have declined with age, potentially hindering fertilization.
Noble love can transcend factors such as nationality, age, and wealth. While age difference may have some impact on marriage, it should not be regarded as an inviolable rule. The most important thing in marriage is, of course, the feelings between each other and a happy life . As long as you are happy and comfortable, what does it matter if you are the same age or different age?
References:
[1] Ji Jingjie. A sociological analysis of age difference between spouses in China [J]. Beauty and Times (Urban Edition). 2016(10).
[2] Research Finds Current Status of Marriage in China: Couples of the Same Age Have the Highest Divorce Rate. China.org.cn. 2007-08-28
