Women who have close contact with men often have this feeling: why do their seemingly ordinary actions seem incomprehensible to men? And sometimes, some of the behaviors of men seem to women as causing unnecessary trouble, and that there's no need to make the relationship so tense over such trivial matters.
1. You can get along well with people you dislike.
Men expressed their opinions, saying things like, "I really can't understand how someone can talk calmly with someone they dislike," "How can someone get along with someone they don't get along with?" and "It's strange that women of the same age talk badly about each other behind their backs but pretend to be good friends on the surface. If I were a guy, I would usually keep a certain distance from people I dislike."
For women, this is related to how they handle family relationships. Men often consider these trivial matters in family dynamics and don't care, while women face and manage these relationships more frequently. In essence, the biggest taboo in family relationships is a complete breakdown in relations, because everyone is family and friends, and a black-and-white approach doesn't work here. There's a saying, "One cannot be a good father-in-law if one is neither deaf nor dumb," which means that in handling family matters, one should pretend not to hear and try to smooth things over. Women tend to bring the methods they use to handle family relationships to other interpersonal relationships.
2. Superficial interactions
"I find it incredible that women can engage in superficial interactions with others," "They praise others frequently while simultaneously criticizing them," and "They tend to form cliques. While men sometimes form cliques, the intention is usually to have fun together, but in women's cliques, there's often a sense of being forced to fulfill others' requests. I find this very incomprehensible."
For women, having one or more small groups is practically an innate instinct. You see, from kindergarten and elementary school onwards, women form their own little cliques. The reasons are often ridiculous, like disliking someone or something because they like that person or thing. Sometimes it's just because of a toy, or even for no reason at all.
Thus, newcomers become accustomed to this and choose to join certain groups, sometimes even two mutually exclusive groups. When encountering members of the other group, they signal with a wink, and there are even instances of being interrogated for blinking. Women seem to relish this espionage-like behavior. As they grow older, this childish behavior disappears, but the internal grouping among women remains much like that in kindergarten or primary school; their fundamental affiliation with one or more groups doesn't change.
In order to maintain a stable small group, one cannot directly express their doubts. On one hand, they show goodwill, while on the other hand, they are secretly testing and observing the other person. Even if this superficial relationship is seen through, the other person may be helpless.
3. Estimate the value for your companions.
Although society has become very materialistic and realistic, men still believe that loyalty and righteousness exist within human nature. When interacting with others, they don't assess them with a quantifiable, material value, like an auction valuation.
"Ranking friends in one's mind," "There seem to be many relationships where people exploit each other for their own desires," and "Pricing people immediately." "That person is smart and does a good job, but I'm still better looking." Listing and comparing all the criteria one by one is a uniquely female approach to interpersonal relationships. Many men find this behavior very offensive.
Paying particular attention to details seems to be an innate ability of women. On a grand scale, this manifests as a tie tilted at a 15-degree angle, a slightly dull complexion, or the sudden appearance of a new accessory on one's hand; on a smaller scale, it's about noticing even a tiny pimple on the back of the neck and analyzing various possibilities. In terms of logical reasoning, if tested with a formal exam, men would undoubtedly score higher than women.
However, when it comes to extrapolating from the details of daily life, women can completely outshine men. This inference stems from a realistic and materialistic view of various situations. Therefore, their evaluation of those around them is like a woman entering a shopping mall—a quick glance and a habitual comparison of prices to determine whether each item is worthwhile. See, this is a woman's innate instinct, perhaps related to the general perception that women are more stingy and calculating than men.
Men's aversion to this stems from women's materialistic views of those around them. While we cannot deny that some women do use this evaluation behavior with a manipulative intent, more often it's simply a habitual act and doesn't necessarily indicate malice or opportunistic exploitation. If an accurate assessment of a person's situation can be made, and the most suitable approach can be taken to make the other person feel comfortable, this is not necessarily a bad thing.
4. Incredible activities that only women would do.
"Troublesome gatherings that turn into women's groups," "'Mom's group' having lunch together," "Sisters going shopping together, but not brothers." Why are same-sex couples so happy together? It's practically impossible for two men to frequently eat, shop, and party together. If two men did this often, the men around them would find it abnormal.
Women need companions from a young age; they feel safer when doing things together. Men, on the other hand, are often just buddies, but as they grow older, they can go about their own business—shopping, eating out, etc.—on their own. To them, dragging others along is pointless. For women, eating and shopping together is a unique form of social interaction. During these times, they can vent, share secrets, and engage in activities that men might consider trivial, but women value highly.
