dispute
After the initial passionate phase of marriage, couples often enter a period of conflict. If these conflicts are not resolved promptly, they escalate into disputes and endless arguments. Generally speaking, disputes among those with lower levels of education and choleric or sanguine temperaments tend to manifest outwardly, such as through verbal altercations, fights, or property damage. While these issues can be resolved through mediation, they often recur, leading to a protracted and unending internal conflict.
Among highly educated individuals and those with phlegmatic or melancholic temperaments, this often manifests as inner resentment; outwardly, they appear calm and unassuming, but inwardly they are cold towards each other, harboring resentment, and mediation is not easily effective.
alert
As disputes accumulate, couples grow increasingly distant and guarded, a phenomenon commonly known as "sleeping in the same bed but dreaming different dreams." This guardedness manifests in various ways: materialistic couples often conceal details about their finances and income, while extroverted couples hide their affairs with other women. To prevent the other from finding fault or discovering the truth, both partners become wary of each other in economic and social matters, even about personal careers and future prospects, building layers of defenses as if guarding against a thief.
crack
Secrets will always be revealed eventually. The revelation of secrets leads to more serious disputes, which intensifies vigilance; the result is a vicious cycle that eventually causes a rift. This rift manifests emotionally as intense dissatisfaction and behaviorally as mutual alienation. At this point, those with suitable housing mostly separate; those without, even if cohabiting, live back-to-back, keeping to themselves.
rupture
The cracks widen until they become irreparable, and the relationship completely breaks down. Couples whose relationships have broken down generally fall into three categories: first, they separate and divorce through legal procedures; second, considering various reasons, they find it inconvenient to divorce and are forced to continue living together, enduring hardship and suffering, with the marriage existing in name only; third, the relationship is irreversibly broken, but they refuse to divorce simply to torment their partner, "holding them back and preventing them from being happy." This kind of dragging on is both foolish and immoral, harming both parties.
What is internal will manifest externally. The four stages of a breakdown in a relationship are: the first two are internal, the "cause," generally belonging to the realm of inner thoughts; the latter two are external, the "effect," generally belonging to the realm of action. Therefore, to prevent a breakdown in a relationship, adjustments should be made when conflicts arise, resolving them in their nascent stage.
