More than 25% of domestic violence cases stem from personality distortion, and almost all addictive vices lead to personality distortion, making the incidence of domestic violence alarmingly high.
Sign of a domestic abuser: He is prone to losing control of his emotions at home.
Many people believe that violent men are often prone to emotional outbursts and have impulsive personalities. But in reality, I've seen many men who are impulsive outside and could easily get into fights, yet they never lay a finger on their wives when they get home.
Some soldiers and career-driven men are very domineering and easily agitated outside, but they won't touch their wives at home. So when judging men, you can't categorize emotional outbursts into one type, because there are different kinds of outbursts.
The most dangerous men who are prone to domestic violence are those who "easily lose control of their emotions at home".
You can observe that men who suddenly fly into a rage and yell at their wives at home, men who throw and smash things at home, and men who take their anger out on their wives at the drop of a hat generally have a tendency towards domestic violence.
Why is there such a significant difference between losing control of emotions outside and losing control of emotions at home?
It's very simple. Men often have a stance when doing things. Those who are prone to losing control of their emotions outside can distinguish between friend and foe. They act impulsively outside in order to bring benefits home. Outside, they are enemies, but inside, they are their own people.
On the other hand, people who lose control of their emotions at home are the opposite. They can no longer distinguish between sides and do not know who is on their side. They are the most selfish. For these people, as long as they get emotional, they would even kill their parents. What is your wife compared to them?
The second sign of a domestic abuser: addictive vices such as drug use, gambling, abuse, and severe alcoholism.
I often say that you shouldn't date a man with addictive vices, such as drug use, gambling, sadism, and severe alcoholism (not smoking or anything like that, please don't make any inferences).
Why shouldn't we have them? Because these addictive vices can change a person's personality, cause emotional instability, and distort their character.
Some people are very nice when they first start dating you, but if they have certain bad habits, you shouldn't stay with them. These bad habits are hard to break, while changing someone's personality is almost inevitable.
In one case, a girl married a man who liked to gamble. At first, the two lived a very good life, but the man gambled more and more, losing more and more. Finally, one day, he was in a bad mood, lost control of his emotions, and beat his wife at home.
From then on, domestic violence became a habit. Whenever the man lost money gambling, he would go home and beat his wife. His wife tried to divorce him several times but failed. She was chased and beaten, followed and beaten, and finally found temporary relief only by hiding in a domestic violence shelter.
Third sign of a domestic abuser: No moral bottom line
What does it mean to have no moral bottom line?
Do bad people always beat their wives? Not necessarily. Some people who break the law, even murderers or assaulters, can be very good to their families. Some people steal for their families, and some people break the law for their children.
They broke the law, but they are not morally bankrupt.
If a person disregards their family and prioritizes their own interests over their family's, willing to sacrifice them for personal gain, and willing to harm their loved ones and cause them pain for their own pleasure, then that person has no moral bottom line.
In a family, everyone gets angry and agitated at times. But what allows us to control ourselves and refrain from physically harming our family members? What is self-control? It's basic moral principles; this is a person's fundamental self-control.
If a person doesn't care about their family, always treats their relatives like dirt, is completely cold-blooded, ruthless, disloyal, and unfilial, then when they get agitated, hurting their family becomes commonplace, and domestic violence is simply a weapon for them to vent their emotions.
In other words, he doesn't love his family, his wife, or his children at all, so of course he'll hit you when he's unhappy.
Fourth sign of a domestic abuser: Self-esteem outweighs life.
Another type is men with an extremely strong sense of self-esteem, so much so that it surpasses their own life, and who ultimately resort to domestic violence to protect their self-esteem.
I have a case where a man with a very strong sense of self-esteem married a woman, and initially, their life was going well. However, later, his wife's ex-boyfriend started spreading rumors and slandering her. Hearing these rumors, the man felt deeply humiliated and that his self-esteem had been wounded in front of others.
This man's basic logic is: "If a woman is unfaithful, a man would rather die." (In fact, the affair with his wife was just a rumor).
Under this strange logic, the man started beating his wife after returning home, repeatedly committing domestic violence. In his subconscious, his self-esteem was far greater than his own life, let alone his wife's life.
So when you're with a man like that, you never know what might hurt his pride, or what might get you beaten up.
In short, when a man values his pride more than his life, those around him are definitely in danger. Because even a small rumor can break down his defenses and make him see you as an enemy.
Five signs of domestic violence in men: Distorted personality and mental illness
Finally, and this is a medically recognized point: bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, and menopausal psychosis can all contribute to domestic violence. These conditions are medically identifiable and easily discernible in everyday life. For women, finding a normal boyfriend, not one with a strange temper, and a cheerful and outgoing one, rather than a gloomy and difficult one, can effectively help avoid these problems.
What should be alarming is that domestic violence is always a gradual process. At first, such people may just lose their temper at home, but slowly, they start to hit people lightly, then they start to slap them, and finally, when they lose control of their emotions, they are capable of anything.
Among the cases I've recently received are those of men slapping their pregnant wives, pouring hot pot over their girlfriends, and strangling someone to death.
Let me tell you again, do not tolerate this. Break up with someone after the first offense. Domestic violence is addictive, it can recur, and it will get worse each time.
