It all began with what I myself call the Holy Trinity of the Truth Man:
□ Truth 1:
Good men don't covet what doesn't belong to them. They appreciate and cherish what they have worked hard for.
You want your man to see you and your relationship as one of the greatest achievements of his life. This means he must relentlessly try to keep you, for his own good and for yours.
□ Truth Two:
Good men take for granted things that are inexhaustible or that they will never lose. They enjoy competing for scarce resources.
You want your man to feel incredibly lucky to be the only person in the world to have won your favor, and for him to realize that he could lose you at any moment.
□ Truth Three:
Many men harbor the idea that they are playboys pursued by countless beautiful women, with three thousand concubines lining up without asking for anything in return, catering to their every whim of sexual fantasy.
They instinctively felt that loving only one woman from beginning to end was like giving up the whole forest for one tree.
These facts are ridiculous, yet absolutely true.
Admittedly, they ultimately wouldn't value the countless sex slaves in their harems who were at their beck and call. Men only find happiness and gratitude when they need to constantly give to get what they want from women. The problem is, they aren't necessarily fully aware of this.
This is why it's so difficult for men to wholeheartedly maintain what they've taken for granted or their feelings. This is why it's so difficult for them to pour their heart and soul into only you, especially after they've won your favor and have no fear of losing you.
Based on the facts stated above, here are four reasons why he might not cherish you.
Reason 1: He can get what he wants without having to put in any effort.
You cook and clean for him, serve him fine wines and delicacies, take care of his daily life in every detail, raise his offspring, and satisfy his physical needs. You've been giving, giving, giving, haven't you?
And you naively believe he'll realize his mistake and reciprocate your sacrifices. Most likely, he'll go out to work and earn most of your living expenses (but some men simply won't do that). Then, what about the rest of your life? Isn't being together the most important thing? What about all those endless household chores?
Well, he doesn't care at all.
What's going on? Why doesn't he put in more effort? How could he not understand your needs? Since you're the one taking care of the whole family, you foolishly think he'll understand that no one else is taking care of you! And you need someone to take care of you too. If he doesn't, who will? You need to be respected, cherished, and have him make sacrifices for you. You need to know that he cares.
Will he one day suddenly have an epiphany and understand everything?
Won't.
Will he wake up alone one day and become sincere?
Won't.
Is he a crippled, narcissistic pig?
Maybe not.
Most likely, he is an ordinary man whose brain is deeply ingrained with the above rules.
If you only give and never expect anything in return—giving from him—his primal male brain will categorize you as a free gift. When a man gets you without giving anything in return, he may be temporarily grateful and cherish you; but if you only give and never expect anything in return, he will definitely devalue your giving.
Reason 2: He doesn't believe he will lose you.
Most men are somewhat arrogant about their position in a relationship. You imagine that, without any warning, he will suddenly realize that if he continues to take your efforts for granted, one day you will leave him.
He wouldn't think that way.
"If something isn't broken, don't fix it"—that's a typical man's attitude. And he's completely unaware that his relationship is broken. Why don't they know? It's very likely that he's constantly getting what he needs from you. And even though you've clearly explained your true feelings for him, he still ignores them. Even if you've told him you're upset, as long as he gets everything he needs, your words can't penetrate his rock-solid brain. (I know, this isn't fair).
He doesn't know that you might have already fallen for someone else, admiring a man who will eventually meet your needs. When you gently explain your needs, without forcing him to experience firsthand the cold reality that you are a scarce resource that won't automatically regenerate once used up, he doesn't take it seriously at all.
This is why men remain silent about pleas and nagging, but actively respond to personal experiences they've had. When he understands how you feel and how your feelings affect his life, he'll mobilize his resources to please you.
Reason 3: He believed that he could escape unscathed even if he fantasized about other women.
Even though they're already in relationships, many men still indulge in fantasies of having a constant stream of romantic opportunities. They carry around erotic calendars, subscribe to magazines like Maxim's, spend their days scrutinizing attractive women around them, flirt with office ladies, and chat up their high school ex-girlfriends on Facebook. They're aimless online and offline, rambling on and on.
If you think these things are harmless, you're essentially pushing yourself into a fire pit. You're sending the message that you don't deserve his wholehearted devotion. When your man realizes that his foolish fantasies pale in comparison to the sense of accomplishment he gains from fully committing to the relationship, he will decisively cut off those delusions.
Now, if your man is deeply immersed in his fantasies, he's like a wild horse. He might be obsessed with pornography, or he might have an affair. In my experience, men troubled by these issues are very likely to develop into those unruly horses, becoming uncontrollable. Of course, you need to be aware of all this.
□ Reason Four: The root of all reasons: You believe he will naturally grow into a prince, so you passively wait for it to become a reality.
While you wait for a miracle to happen, you are passively condoning reasons one through three to recklessly destroy your relationship.
If you misunderstand the true nature of men—the Trinity—then your man will not cherish you. This is not your fault; it's his. It's simply the truth. From the moment your man begins to see you as an inexhaustible, free resource, he begins to be distracted. Despite the potential pain and heartbreak for either of you, he will immediately devalue the relationship, taking your contributions for granted and only seeing his own achievements.
