If you're currently in a passionate relationship, do you feel that your mother's and sisters' well-intentioned advice is a bit impractical? Have they said that you're too independent and self-centered, don't understand your partner's feelings, are easily overwhelmed by new ideas, and disregard traditional views on marriage and relationships...? This time, let's talk about the new-era relationship syndrome and see if you agree.
Appropriately blurring the individual
Income is absolutely off-limits; don't ask new friends you met yesterday; parents should only meet once a year after marriage; before even getting the birth certificate, sign a de facto beneficiary agreement for all assets… Ordinary people say marriage is 1+1=2, but God laughs, a good marriage is actually 0.5+0.5=1. Overemphasizing independence and refusing change—is it confidence or fear of uncertainty? You need to think carefully, lest you ruin your relationship without realizing it!
Rely more on the men around you
For workplace issues, humbly consult DAV ID; for health, makeup, and gossip, leave it to your male best friend; let the neighbor walk your pet; for life's dilemmas, of course, listen to piano music with your oppa and face the night with a carefree heart... Girl, stop complaining about not being able to get married, I can't think of any reason why you need a "boyfriend"! The first rule of using a partner is that she/he should ideally be the only outlet for multi-directional dependence, because exclusivity is an important meaning of love.
Beware of long-distance relationships
The euphoria of not seeing each other for so long, the zero-cost activity beyond using Wi-Fi and installing WeChat, the vast personal space each person has… Long-distance relationships, once avoided at all costs, are now highly sought after. Those born in the 90s frequently warn those who have been through it: you won't understand "the tighter you hold on, the faster you lose" until you've experienced it yourself. But those who have been through it won't say anything more. Deep communication, the adjustment of daily routines, the lack of updates on each other's social media—we won't tell you the truth of life—distance doesn't create beauty, it only creates infidelity. Unless you're incredibly confident, absolutely certain that no matter how far this man goes, his heart will always be with you. Or perhaps you want to take the challenge; then, go ahead.
Love cannot withstand the test
Whenever Xiaoyi enthusiastically turned on her favorite variety show, her boyfriend would especially want to be intimate with her. Recently, he broke up with her because, once, Xiaoyi was kissing him while secretly glancing at the TV… At dinner parties, his girlfriend always pushed Xiaolong towards her group of girlfriends. When she went on business trips, she had her girlfriends accompany him shopping. After they became familiar with each other, his girlfriend asked Xiaolong how his girlfriends were. Xiaolong gave them all positive reviews, only to find out the next day from his girlfriend's social media that she had unilaterally broken up with him and that he had been blocked by all her girlfriends…
It's understandable that women like to share things with their best friends, but love is an exception. Because exclusivity is one of the principles of love; no one, whether a third party, a best friend, or a family member, can possess your partner in any way.
They keep breaking up and getting back together, but they just can't seem to break free.
One is like a love addict, while the other is definitely playing the role of a love escaper. Their dramatic breakups and reconciliations, their endless tug-of-war, are like a duet, with roles constantly shifting. Breakups become a kind of spice in the relationship, as if love is only felt in the pain. But a healthy relationship isn't about mutual torment; it's about rationally considering what's truly compatible.
In relationships that are constantly on and off, dragging on and on, it's likely that the other person possesses aspects you dislike, as well as virtues that make you soft-hearted and unable to let go. The undeniable truth is that you probably can't bring yourself to stay with him permanently; otherwise, there wouldn't be this constant cycle of breaking up and getting back together. Do you really want to waste all your time on this man? Think about it carefully.
If you don't court death, you won't die.
A felt her boyfriend wasn't giving her enough confidence, so she took the initiative to meet his parents. Just as she received their blessings and her boyfriend was about to propose, A told him she had already registered her marriage with someone else—"I just wanted to prove I'm better than you think!" Similar incidents occurred: on a whim, she'd book a plane ticket and leave without warning; in a bad mood, she'd suddenly send her boyfriend fifty text messages and yell at him upon meeting, "Why didn't you reply sooner?!"... Impulsiveness makes you a loser; recklessness guarantees failure.
This type of woman uses tests as a pretext to torment men. The problem is, if the man willingly lets you torment him, that's fine, but what if he doesn't? Are you just going to torment the men around you while complaining about not being able to find another man?
What to do if you can't fall in love?
As the saying goes, love has only one outcome: either it's about the heart or it's about the body. But the kind of person who lacks motivation during the pursuit, shows no enthusiasm after establishing a relationship, and is completely bewildered when their partner angrily breaks up with them—this kind of person also exists among those born in the 90s. Many call these people "herbivores," but I call them "love-incapable"... My advice is to take five pills of confidence, passion, and initiative daily until you feel your heart race, your nerves tighten, and your sleeplessness for love. Don't stop taking them until that happens.
What to do if you encounter a stingy man?
Xiaomei broke up with her boyfriend because he was too stingy. Xiaomei couldn't take it anymore and sent him a text message: "Let's break up!" Her boyfriend didn't reply for a long time. At the beginning of the following month, he sent Xiaomei a text message: "Honey, my text message allowance ran out last month. This month, as soon as I got a message, I sent it to you immediately. Why did you break up with me? I love you so much; I would do anything for you."
Overly trusting the information gathered
During blind dates, you launch into a long-winded discussion of the other person's zodiac sign: "Scorpio, huh? Cunning, loves to peep, haunts you after a breakup... Are you still using a fake account to follow your ex-girlfriend's activities online?" After a breakup, you analyze their profession first—"It's all because civil servants are rigid, hairdressers are prone to cheating, and artists are out of touch with reality..." Before a date, you practice showing eight teeth, and your last thought before making love is not turning the bedside lamp to an ambiguous gray... Enough already, the only big data you care about is your own inner heart rate; everything else is rubbish.
There's always a reason why a woman is single; the difference lies in whether that reason stems from others or from herself. We can't control other people's reasons, so try changing yourself. Face it with a peaceful mindset, actively search, and you'll eventually find the right one for you.
