Psychology suggests that love has four stages:
The first stage is the "coexistence period of passionate love," during which one always wants to be together all the time;
The first stage is the "counter-dependency period," during which both people want some time for themselves to do their own things. However, if they don't communicate well with each other, it can make the other person feel neglected.
The third stage is the "period of independence," which mainly continues the period of independence and autonomy that followed the second stage.
The fourth stage is the "stable period," where you have become the closest people to each other and will support one another.
Couples who reach a stable stage generally have a greater sense of mutual understanding and acceptance than other couples. Many couples fail to make it past the second and third stages and end up breaking up. So, what are the signs that a couple is already in a stable phase? Compare yourselves to these signs and see if your love with your partner is stable enough!
1. Happy fat!
Couples in stable relationships often share a common characteristic: weight gain. After being together for a long time and enjoying a comfortable life, they usually both gain weight. However, this doesn't seem to bother them much. Because they know each other so well, they don't care too much about changes in appearance. And, well, "If I gain weight, no one will compete with me for them," is probably the feeling. Most importantly, even if your partner gains weight, you'll still find them sexy, and that's enough.
2. The Cold War is meaningless to you.
After being together for a long time, you understand each other better and won't be as unreasonable as before, sulking and ignoring each other. You used to be stubborn and insist on the other person making up, but after being together for a while, the silent treatment is pointless. You mature beyond yourselves and know that the only way to resolve arguments is to talk things out. Even when you argue, one of you will always take the initiative to apologize first, regardless of who is right or wrong. After speaking openly, you can be as sweet as ever again.
3. Willing to spend time with their partner's family
In the early stages of a relationship, the thought of meeting each other's families can be daunting, with the fear of ruining one's image if one doesn't perform well. However, as time goes on, you'll start proactively inviting your partner's mother, siblings, and even their families to go shopping, making them the first people you think of. You'll enjoy the comfort of being with each other's families and even be happy to have a sweet "third wheel" date. This indicates that your relationship is currently very stable.
4. They easily smile at each other.
You'll find yourselves increasingly in sync. Sometimes, you don't need words; a simple glance is enough to understand each other's thoughts. They'll even bring you what you need. When you turn to look at them, you'll usually find them looking back, or they'll immediately sense it and turn to look at you. Even close lovers might occasionally feel awkward and look away when their eyes meet, but you'll still exchange a smile. This shows you're already familiar enough with each other that you've become inseparable.
5. Both of them have the idea of "us".
No matter what you do, you'll immediately think of each other. If someone gives you a box of milk cookies, you'll be grateful but immediately think, "They're allergic to milk!" If it rains, you'll immediately worry about whether they brought an umbrella. You'll use the same terms to address each other's family members... You've started to integrate each other into your personal lives, using "we" instead of "I" to live your lives.
6. Dating doesn't require special planning.
Being together is the best way to pass the time. You don't need to plan anything special; it's no longer about having fun, but about finding joy in everything you do together. The relationship is stable, which is incredibly convenient. Unlike when you first started dating, you don't have to rack your brains the night before a date to create beautiful memories, fearing that something might ruin your sweet date the next day. While you may no longer have the passion of early love, your enthusiasm remains undiminished.
7. You've become "exactly the same"
It might be the same action, or the same words spoken at the same time—anything that can be described as "telepathic" is evidence of your stabilizing relationship! The longer you're together, the closer your interests and aesthetics become, the more similar and in sync you become, and your personalities also become alike. Have you already noticed? Some friends have started saying you look like a married couple!
8. You don't need to cater to the other person's preferences.
Even if you and your partner have different tastes, you don't need to hide your feelings or change yourself for their preferences. A stable relationship allows you to better understand each other's strengths and become deeply fascinated by them. Because of this, you don't need to constantly worry about your partner's likes and dislikes, or force yourself to accommodate their wishes in everyday life, like eating out or going to the movies. When you first get together, you might spend ages discussing where to eat, but after dating for a while, you can skip the hassle of finding a restaurant and just make a reservation! After being together for a long time, you know each other's tastes and preferences; they may differ, but that doesn't affect the enjoyment of eating together.
9. Your questions about him stem from curiosity, not jealousy.
In the early stages of your relationship, you were always eager to know everything about your partner, wanting to fill in the gaps in their past that they weren't part of. During this process of getting to know each other, awkward moments were inevitable, such as discussing ex-girlfriends. You might secretly compare yourself to them, and get angry and jealous when things didn't match. But now, you can accept it calmly and talk about it openly. You've confidently accepted everything about him because you both believe in this love. A stable relationship is no longer about being unreasonable, but about peace and harmony.
10. Start dressing casually when going out.
Couples in the honeymoon phase usually pay close attention to their appearance. However, as the relationship progresses, you might find that your partner, who used to always dress up for dates, starts to "slack off" and becomes more casual in their attire. Besides this, you might also notice that they seem to have become lazier not only in their appearance but also in their daily life! Not shaving, clothes lying around... Because they consider each other family, they start to become more casual, which is a phenomenon that occurs as the relationship enters a stable phase.
11. You won't feel embarrassed if you make a fool of yourself in front of the other person.
You discover that you can be your most authentic self in front of him, without any pretense. You feel comfortable and relaxed. If you accidentally make a fool of yourself, he might tease you a little, but after that, nothing serious happens. You can do anything in front of him with complete peace of mind. It's much more relaxed and comfortable than when you first started dating and were afraid of him seeing you make a fool of yourself and had to hide it!
12. The number of times you have sex is not the key point.
In the early stages of a relationship, sex is like a spark, capable of igniting passion between two people at any moment. However, as the relationship matures, you no longer need to use the frequency of sex to prove the depth of your love. This doesn't mean intentionally avoiding sex, but rather that you don't care as much about it or as often as you did at the beginning. A stable relationship, where you simply enjoy each other's company, is where love truly shines. For you, sex has evolved from a physical need to an emotional one.
When you truly love someone, rather than possess them, you'll find that loving them means wanting what's best for them and selflessly giving without expecting anything in return. A stable and happy relationship can attest to this. Couples in the honeymoon phase feel everything is new and exciting at the beginning of their relationship, full of enthusiasm for each other. But as time goes on, they become accustomed to each other's presence, and as they enter a stable phase, some of those feelings may gradually fade.
While relationships should ideally flow like a gentle stream, even in a stable period, unexpected problems can arise if the relationship isn't consistently nurtured. If you want to spend the rest of your life together, it's essential to pay attention to some tips for keeping the relationship alive. Don't forget that even after many years, occasional surprises are still necessary. Sometimes, doing something special for your partner can actually rekindle the romance. Another key point is that the longer a relationship lasts, the easier it is to neglect your partner. Therefore, cultivating shared interests is crucial. Being able to chat together and go out together—that's true happiness!
While a mundane life can be a form of happiness, an increasingly monotonous existence makes it easy for love to fade. Occasionally, life needs surprises and romance to prevent monotony; this is the secret to lasting love! The above content is exclusively authorized for use and may not be reproduced without the copyright holder's permission.
