1. Mature personality
A person's maturity level has a significant impact on the success or failure of a marriage. A mature personality means being able to objectively understand oneself and others, distinguishing between facts and feelings, and acting rationally rather than based on emotions. Maturity manifests in various aspects. For marriage, objectivity and realism are paramount. Objectivity means not being self-centered, being able to consider perspectives outside oneself, and taking that perspective to address one's own interests while considering the relationship between oneself and others. This ensures that the interests of both partners are taken into account in the marriage.
Realistic people don't see marriage as merely an unhappy family life and personal predicaments. Instead, they see it as fulfilling personal needs and bringing happiness, while also introducing new challenges and responsibilities. Because of this objectivity and realism, mature individuals are able to constructively handle various problems, avoiding emotional decisions. This helps them cope with potential difficulties and crises in life, thus striving for marital success. Therefore, women highly value maturity as a standard.
Mature people understand others' difficulties, possess compassion and tolerance, and would never do anything to harm others for personal gain. They are also capable of independent thinking, not easily swayed by others' words, and have their own judgment. It's unlikely that you'll succeed in sowing discord or gossiping in front of them. They are willing to admit their shortcomings and mistakes and are willing to make sacrifices for others. For example, after an argument or conflict, they will first reflect on their own actions and think about the problem themselves instead of constantly arguing with the other person, and then find a solution. I believe everyone prefers this approach.
Furthermore, mature individuals have a clear understanding of sexual matters and strong self-control, preventing them from acting irresponsibly on impulse. This reduces the likelihood of affairs and one-night stands—issues that women often worry about. In short, only men and women with considerable maturity are more likely to build a lasting and happy marriage.
2. We get along well
Most couples' first meeting involves chatting, right? In reality, most girls might exclaim how handsome a guy is, but they don't actually end up together. This kind of "liking" that only stays in the heart without any action is because this kind of liking isn't real liking; it's just an appreciation of his appearance.
In this situation, any initial "liking" will likely lead the girl to completely lose interest in the guy after the next few conversations. One reason is that you'll find you simply can't connect. He's quiet, lacks energy, or talks incessantly without considering the girl's feelings. While it's possible for a girl to fall deeply in love at first sight, such cases are rare. Being able to chat is a more important criterion for choosing a partner than looks. Being able to chat means he understands your thoughts, or that talking to him is easy and enjoyable, allowing you to forget your worries—that's what makes two people together.
Being able to chat well actually indicates shared values. Similar values make communication effortless and easier to resonate with, avoiding situations where one person's views are completely different from yours. I believe values can be the foundation of a relationship. There's a long-standing saying, "marrying someone of equal social standing," which is a reasonable principle. People with similar family backgrounds and cultural backgrounds are more likely to learn and accept similar values during their upbringing, and are more likely to accept each other when choosing a partner, especially if their values align.
3. The man's education level
It's essentially about a man's level of refinement and upbringing. This issue will inevitably come up in conversation, as a person's speech and demeanor completely reflect their level of refinement and character. Furthermore, a man's level of education isn't directly proportional to his refinement and upbringing; some people have excellent manners even without a university education. A man's refinement is an important criterion for a smart woman when choosing a partner, because women won't like a man who constantly uses foul language. If he can't even meet this basic requirement, there's no point in expecting him to be eloquent. Also, a difference in educational levels makes communication very difficult. One person has only an elementary school education, while the other has a university degree. Even setting aside the content of your conversation, sometimes you might want to talk about high school and university life, but he might not be able to participate. Therefore, it's still very important to have similar educational backgrounds.
A woman's emphasis on this mate selection criterion is also related to the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. After all, the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is an age-old problem. If the man is highly educated and of good character, his mother-in-law is unlikely to be bad either. Every girl hopes to have an understanding mother-in-law, and a mother-in-law with high levels of education and professional skills is better able to communicate with younger people, which is a common reality.
4. The other party's character and personality
A man with questionable character may win a woman's love, but such love is unlikely to last, and marriage will be extremely difficult. After all, most women are kind-hearted, and living with a man with questionable character is unlikely, unless he is that kind of person himself; and if they do marry him, the woman will be terrified and often lose her composure.
Furthermore, 80% of divorces are due to personality clashes, highlighting that mutual affection is the greatest guarantee of a marriage. Marriage isn't just dating; it's a lifelong commitment. How can a couple endure constant arguments due to incompatible personalities? Therefore, a woman places great importance on a man's character when choosing a partner. If you discover during your courtship that he's selfish, petty, and lacks empathy, acting like a child who only cares about his own feelings, and you also value mutual care, there's no need to tolerate it. Separate decisively, as such a marriage will not be happy.
5. The other party's occupation
First, women want to know what a man does for a living and whether his profession is illegal. Only then do they consider whether his job is lucrative or stable. Money is important, but it's even more important not to live with someone like a robber or drug dealer. Most people hope their partner isn't involved in unethical business practices or scams. Having a high-earning partner certainly ensures a better quality of life, and most women don't want to worry about the mundane realities of married life. Even if a woman knows a man earns less, she won't look down on him and will encourage him.
If a man's job is unstable and he travels around a lot, a woman will feel that he is not down-to-earth, unreliable, and has not yet thought about settling down, so naturally she won't entrust her life to him. Job stability is not only a woman's standard for a man, but also a smart woman's standard for herself. A good income equals long-term stability plus a good salary. A woman's desire for a man's stable income is actually based on her desire for a long-term relationship with him.
6. The other party's family financial situation
This explains why men from prestigious families are often considered ideal husbands by women. A man's character is largely a product of his upbringing and habits. Marrying a man from a well-off family, even if not for financial support, at least reduces unnecessary burdens. This is the most compelling reason why many urban girls reject "rural-urban fusion marriages."
7. A man's circle of friends
A man's friends have a significant influence on him, and the friends he makes largely determine his social standing. As the saying goes, "One who stays near vermilion gets stained red, and one who stays near ink gets stained black." Especially in today's "relationship-based society," a person's success is never the achievement of one person alone, but rather the sum of the efforts of those around them. A man surrounded by frivolous friends makes it difficult for a woman to see any hope of success in him, and naturally, it's hard for a woman to consider him as an ideal partner.
8. A man's appearance
Women often favor men with good looks, but when it comes to marriage, they tend to prefer a husband who isn't overly handsome. After all, handsome men face too many temptations, and going out together will attract a lot of attention. Women often find it harder to feel happy in an insecure marriage. The above content is exclusively authorized for use and may not be reproduced without the copyright holder's permission.
