In life, you'll meet all sorts of people, but ultimately, only your spouse will likely stay with you until old age. Birth, aging, illness, and death are the natural order, but if one day you grow old, would you rather pass away first, or first with your spouse?
There are essentially two answers to this question, but the reasons given are different.
1. Who suffers more, the one who dies first or the one who lives?
Living is torture
Grandma Zhang, our neighbor, has become silent since her husband passed away. Every day, besides doing laundry and cooking for her son's family, she also has to be mindful of her daughter-in-law's attitude, having no personal space and no power to argue back. Because her husband is gone, her son and daughter-in-law have lost basic respect, ordering her around like servants .
Grandma Zhang often reminisces about the days when her husband was alive, a time of simple warmth and comfort. But now, living alone is a form of torment for her.
As long as there is life, there is hope.
Grandma Qin faces life alone, but she feels at peace. Her husband didn't take care of her and their children when they were young , and soon after retirement, he fell ill and frequently lost his temper, so Grandma Qin never felt any warmth from him.
Not only that, but her bedridden husband is unable to do anything, so Grandma Qin has to take care of him closely, never leaving his side and having almost no free time of her own . Sometimes she feels that she is living for others.
Now that he has passed away first, Grandma Qin breathed a sigh of relief. In any case, the days ahead belong to her, and she should cherish these last moments. After all, only by living can one truly appreciate the beauty of life.
Living in pain
Grandma Yan's health wasn't very good when she was young, and her husband always wanted to exercise with her to improve her physical condition, so that they could both prolong their lives and take care of each other. But cancer, which came without warning, took away her husband, who was originally in much better health.
From the onset of her illness to treatment and then her death, the entire process took only a few months, which was too much for Grandma Yan to bear. After her husband passed away, Grandma Yan continued to maintain their lifestyle, exercising and cooking every day as if her husband were still by her side, but the pain continued to accompany her.
Whenever she calms down, the longing for her husband surges up uncontrollably, and Grandma Yan can't stop crying.
II. Why do men always die young in their later years?
1. Family burden
Men often bear the burden of being the pillars of the family, thus carrying a heavy economic responsibility, which brings both physical and mental strain. They must repay their parents for raising them, support their children's living expenses, and also face pressure from their wives . In addition to work, they also have a heavy psychological burden at the end of the day.
This is why many men choose to relieve mental stress by smoking and drinking at a young age, which can cause considerable harm to their bodies.
2. Laborer damage
Because men are much stronger than women, they are more likely to be forced into manual labor in both daily life and work, which inevitably leads to physical harm, sometimes resulting in internal injuries such as strain and fractures . If these internal injuries are not properly treated, they can accumulate and become chronic, causing health problems in old age.
3. Family complaints
Men act as the lubricant in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. On the one hand, they have to accept the mother's criticism of the daughter-in-law, and on the other hand, they have to listen to the daughter-in-law's complaints about the mother. This double burden falls on the men, who also need to ease the tension between the two sides.
Managing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most thankless and exhausting task , yet it is something that must be resolved, and it is particularly challenging mentally. Those who are not good at handling this relationship will also face considerable emotional challenges. People who suffer from long-term depression and large mood swings will naturally have weaker resistance to illness.
Couples who grow old together rely on each other both materially and emotionally; this reliance is forged over time and is irreplaceable. If one spouse leaves this world first in old age, the other's life instantly loses its color.
Many elderly people live with their children, yet still feel lonely, and gradually lose the meaning of life. Their bodies develop problems, they lose their will to live, and eventually die in depression.
Therefore, you must not remain in a state of sadness. Learn to accept and face this fact, and open a new chapter in your life, greeting the rest of your life with a smile.
3. My spouse passed away early. How should I spend the rest of my life?
When faced with the pain of losing a spouse first, the surviving person must learn to let go . Only with inner peace can one more readily accept new things in all aspects of life. This is especially important for couples who have a particularly close relationship; otherwise, they are more likely to develop mental health issues, which can ultimately lead to physical suffering.
Go outdoors and observe other life forms, such as the beauty of plants and animals in nature. Learn to find beauty in life through hobbies , such as singing, flower arranging, calligraphy, or Tai Chi; these can effectively distract you from feelings of sadness.
In fact, the earlier death of men is largely related to mental stress and lifestyle habits, so it is important to pay attention to various aspects of health maintenance. In their later years, they need to separate themselves from the trivialities of their careers and find their own hobbies and interests.
Secondly , it's important to practice moderation in your lifestyle. Reduce smoking, drinking, and consumption of greasy and spicy foods , as these directly affect blood viscosity and can lead to cardiovascular problems. Finally, it's crucial to stay active. Keep your mind active by learning new things to prevent premature aging , and exercise regularly to avoid becoming inflexible and lazy.
