01 I want to die, I'm afraid of death
I am a 44-year-old woman left behind in a rural area. Like other women in the village, I have endured the pain of being separated from my loved ones for many years. What has changed for me in recent years? It all started five years ago when I was diagnosed with HIV .
Five years ago, I was diagnosed with HIV, and at that moment I felt like the sky was falling. I cried my eyes out many times, and at that time I felt that everything around me was irrelevant, and the whole world was shrouded in darkness. Every time my three children called for their mother, I would be in a daze , and I interacted with them less and less.
My in-laws are elderly, and my husband works away from home, so I'm the pillar of our family. After I fell ill, I was afraid of worrying my elders, so I didn't dare tell my in-laws. When eating, worried that the virus would infect my family, I only dared to pick up the food in front of me , and I would never let my chopsticks touch two pieces of food at the same time.
I've been living in constant fear, like a walking corpse every day. Sometimes my mind wanders to the mountain near my home, looking down at the towering cliffs below, and I think about jumping off, but I don't have the courage.
02 I have no regrets, this is love.
My husband works away from home year-round to support our children and elderly parents, which is truly difficult. To earn more money, he only comes home to reunite with us about once every two years. I've wanted to go work with him many times, but we have three children to take care of, so I have to give up the idea.
For so many years, our love has been sustained only by a telephone , making us like the legendary lovers separated by the Milky Way. This year marked our two-year anniversary, and I eagerly awaited his return, thinking we would finally meet. However, my husband couldn't get a train ticket and couldn't come home. My in-laws, seeing how little time we had spent together over the years, felt sorry for us. So, they used the money they earned from selling pigs that year to buy train tickets for me and our three children, allowing the four of us to reunite in the city and letting the children experience the big city.
When my children and I arrived at his workplace, we discovered his living conditions were far from ideal. My husband was crammed into a tiny 12-square-meter room, which was shared with four other people. It was only because it was Chinese New Year and his coworkers had all gone home that my children and I finally had a place to sleep. During our few days together, he took my children and me on various sightseeing trips. In our 19 years of marriage, the happiest and most romantic time we've ever had was this short week.
After returning home, I caught a severe cold and couldn't get out of bed for two weeks. I was weak and had persistent diarrhea . I tried all sorts of medications at the clinic, but my condition didn't improve. My family planned to take me to a larger hospital for examination, but my condition improved again. Later that year, I had a gynecological examination and unexpectedly, I was diagnosed with HIV.
I informed my husband about the situation and asked him to get tested as well . It was confirmed that he had been infected with HIV for a long time .
Some people asked me if I regretted it? But I found that I couldn't bring myself to hate him. I don't regret marrying him, nor do I regret everything I've done for him and for this family. Maybe this is love. When you truly love someone, no matter how deeply they hurt you, you will choose to forgive them.
Rural women left behind have become a high-risk group for HIV/AIDS.
During the Spring Festival of 2012, in order to objectively understand the current status of left-behind women's knowledge, attitudes and behaviors regarding AIDS, the research team conducted a door-to-door one-on-one survey of 800 rural left-behind women in Henan Province.
The survey found that although China has publicly reported domestic AIDS cases since 2003 and taken various measures to promote HIV prevention, due to geographical limitations and the low level of education among rural women left behind, their knowledge of the transmission routes, harms, treatment, and prevention of AIDS is very limited. In fact, about 38.6% of them expressed indifference towards AIDS.
Many women stated that they were neither concerned nor dared to inquire whether their husbands, who worked away from home, carried the virus . Furthermore, 76.9% of the women indicated they did not use condoms during sexual intercourse. The survey also revealed that rural women did not discriminate against people with HIV/AIDS, but they knew very little about which personal items used by infected individuals could easily transmit the virus. All of these factors contribute to rural women left behind in rural areas becoming a potentially high-risk group for HIV/AIDS.
How can we keep them away from AIDS?
First, women themselves should be chaste and self-respecting, avoiding promiscuity and taking responsibility for their families and themselves. Second, it is essential to ensure that your partner uses condoms to guarantee necessary safety measures and minimize the risk of infection. Third, actively participate in physical examinations , as professional medical examinations are the most direct way to detect HIV/AIDS, and you must not be ashamed to seek medical help.
Furthermore, rural women left behind in rural areas already lack access to health information due to geographical limitations. Preventing HIV/AIDS requires enhancing the disease control capabilities of government departments . Local governments should increase investment in the facilities and equipment of local medical and health institutions, improve working conditions, enhance technological capabilities, and systematically expand HIV/AIDS education networks.
In addition, all counties and villages should strengthen consultation services and actively provide consultation services on HIV-related knowledge to rural women left behind, especially psychological counseling, and visit them to answer their individual concerns.
Rural women left behind and the elderly are potential populations for HIV infection. To combat HIV, we need to work together to fight AIDS and share health.
References:
[1] “Blind Spots in HIV/AIDS Awareness and Intervention Strategies among Left-Behind Women in Rural Areas” [J]. Chinese Continuing Medical Education, Vol. 6, No. 1
[2] "The Current Situation of AIDS in Pingxiang: Prostitutes in Townships are the Biggest Source of Infection, with the Oldest Infected Person Being 84 Years Old and the Youngest Being 1.5 Years Old". Micro Pingxiang. 2019-11-30
