Hospitals are the most impersonal places.
A former oncology nurse once remarked with deep emotion: "Whether someone loves you or not, you'll know after you get sick." This was a conclusion she had drawn from over a decade of experience in the profession. Stories of couples breaking up due to illness were commonplace in hospitals.
What would you do if your wife were diagnosed with cancer? Two gentlemen offered their answers to this question.
01 "No matter birth, aging, sickness, or death, in adversity or prosperity, I will be with you through it all."
At 27, he was already married and settled down, with no pressure from mortgage and car loan payments, a healthy and adorable child, and his parents still alive and well... What could be happier than living a life of routine? However, his wife's fever shattered the peace of their home.
Seven months after giving birth, my wife was diagnosed with leukemia. Hearing the news filled me with mixed emotions. Because my wife is very sensitive, I initially planned to keep it from her. Unexpectedly, her naturally perceptive nature quickly revealed the seriousness of the situation. Under her persistent questioning, I told her everything.
The sudden serious illness was something neither of us could accept. Our life had just gotten back on track and was heading towards a better future. Our daughter was only 7 months old, an age when she needs her mother very much. If something were to happen to my wife, we... I didn't dare to think about it. After discussing it with my parents-in-law, we transferred my wife to the best hematology ward in Hangzhou.
My wife started chemotherapy before I even had a chance to change out of her hospital gown. I had heard about the pain of chemotherapy, but seeing her suffer with my own eyes still broke my heart.
One morning, my wife woke up and suddenly made up her mind: "Let's cut my hair short!" Because her white blood cell count was very low, she couldn't leave the hospital room to prevent infection. So, we asked a hairdresser to cut her hair in the ward.
After more than 20 days in the hospital, the doctor informed us that the first course of chemotherapy was complete and we could be discharged. I was overjoyed; my wife hadn't seen our daughter in a long time.
Not long after, the second round of chemotherapy began. This time, it was far from smooth. My wife was either receiving intravenous infusions or taking medication every day. Her hands were covered in needle marks, and she was in excruciating pain. At times, she couldn't even speak. After her vital signs plummeted and she needed several days of blood transfusions and platelet transfusions to get through the critical period, my wife was finally able to be discharged from the hospital.
After being discharged from the hospital, my wife's platelet count gradually returned to normal. On the 300th day after her leukemia diagnosis, we finally started living a normal life again.
Looking back on this difficult yet profound experience, we feel only gratitude. Gratitude for our own efforts and perseverance, gratitude for the help of doctors and friends, and gratitude for the hope our parents and daughter gave us. This year, I gained a new understanding of the marital relationship.
02 "The woman sleeping next to me got cancer, and I filed for divorce ."
Old Zhou and Aqin have been married for over ten years, but their relationship has never been good, and in recent years they have become increasingly estranged.
During a medical check-up, Aqin was diagnosed with breast cancer. Upon learning this, Lao Zhou remained silent and quietly drove off in his taxi. Aqin had initially thought that, out of consideration for their over ten years of marriage, Lao Zhou would stay with her until the end. However, Lao Zhou not only refused to provide Aqin with a single penny for treatment but also filed for divorce.
Desperate, Aqin went to Lao Zhou, begging him to give her some money for chemotherapy, for the sake of her child. However, Lao Zhou not only refused her coldly but also blocked her phone number, making it impossible to reach her, and disappeared without a trace. With nowhere else to turn, Aqin had to borrow money from all sides for treatment, accumulating a mountain of debt.
During the court hearing, Mr. Zhou argued that he and Ms. Qin had long since lost their feelings for each other. Ms. Qin said despairingly, "If I hadn't gotten cancer, would you have wanted a divorce?" Mr. Zhou remained silent.
Finally, the judge stated that the couple had a duty of support and ordered Mr. Zhou to pay Ms. Qin 400 yuan per month in child support.
Although Aqin won in the end, she felt she had lost her entire life. "What's the use of keeping someone alive when their heart is gone?" Aqin gazed blankly into the distance.
03 If you have cancer, should you spend money to treat it?
"Husbands and wives are like birds in the same forest; when disaster strikes, they fly away separately." The ancients proved this saying long ago. There are all sorts of people in this world, and everyone's attitude towards marital relationships is different. Some support each other through thick and thin, while others part ways halfway through. If your partner unfortunately gets cancer, what will you do?
Those who can persevere are no ordinary people. Like the protagonist in the first story, after learning that his wife had leukemia, he transferred her to the best hospital without hesitation and stayed by her side until she recovered. After his wife recovered, he even quit his original job and chose a relatively free and easy career, just so he could spend more time with his family.
This approach may seem unremarkable, but it actually involves immense mental stress and is a significant financial burden. In China, a cancer patient may incur tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of yuan in medical expenses annually, which is difficult for most families to bear.
Was the real reason for Lao Zhou's divorce because his wife couldn't be cured? Actually, no. If there were still feelings between them, they wouldn't have stood by and watched her die. However, to him, Aqin was no different from a stranger, so he chose to run away.
Many people believe that cancer is a terminal illness, and the mere mention of the word makes them tremble with fear, conjuring up negative thoughts. In reality, cancer is now defined as a chronic disease, and not all cancers are incurable.
Should you spend money to treat cancer? It mainly depends on the severity of the condition.
If the cancer is already in its late stage, the cancer cells have metastasized to multiple sites, there is not much time left, and the patient's physical condition cannot withstand the torment of radiotherapy and chemotherapy, then if the patient and family can accept it, treatment can be abandoned, allowing the patient to quietly enjoy their last peaceful moments.
Conversely, if it's an early-stage cancer with readily available treatment options, then as long as there's a glimmer of hope, we must persist with treatment. At least we have medical insurance; expenses not covered by medical insurance can be borrowed, and if that's not possible, we can seek help from charities… In short, there's always a way out, and perseverance leads to victory.
Is cancer scary? If you say it's not scary, then why are the incidence and mortality rates so high every year? If you say it's scary, then why are the 5-year and 10-year survival rates for cancer rising every year? Whether cancer is scary or not depends on our mindset. When you treat it as a minor ailment, it can do nothing to you; when you treat it as a demon, it can quickly devour your body. Therefore, an optimistic attitude is the foundation for fighting all diseases. Facing cancer, smile, it's not a big deal.
