Blindly believing in promises vs. having reservations
Would you completely believe a man's promises? If you are still in the early stages of your relationship and you still believe in and yearn for a perfect man and romantic love, then you can trust him for now. Because you are both still young and don't yet understand how important promises are to a relationship and to a woman. Trusting him at least allows you to maintain a beautiful imagination about love.
If you've matured beyond your naivety and have been tempered by society for a long time, it would be foolish to be moved by a man's promises and then give your heart and soul to him.
A man's promises aren't entirely unreliable; at least when he loves you, his promises are sincere, like Li Jia's promise to take Du Shiniang home. But that's only when he's deeply in love. When he comes to his senses and realizes the many difficulties he'll face bringing Du Shiniang, a prostitute, home, and doesn't know how to face his family and friends, he throws his promise to the wind and gives the woman he once loved to someone else.
Therefore, when love encounters reality, it is often no longer smooth sailing, but rather faces many obstacles, and promises become fragile at this time. If a woman entrusts herself to a vague promise and gives up her feelings and her wealth, she will only have regrets.
Believe even one-tenth of a man's promises.
While a man's promises are often subject to change, they shouldn't be completely disregarded; skeptics usually lead difficult lives. A wise woman will outwardly agree with a man's promises, but inwardly only truly believe about one-tenth of them.
This limit ensures that a woman won't completely lose herself when facing a man she likes, but rather leaves herself ample room to maneuver, so as not to lose everything when the relationship fails.
This means that you shouldn't give yourself away completely, especially your money, when you fall in love with someone. Even if your feelings are deep, you're still in a romantic relationship, and at this stage, your relationship isn't legally protected.
In other words, right now your relationship is strong and you certainly wouldn't think of writing an IOU; but who can guarantee that after you turn around, your relationship will break down and the other person will deny ever borrowing money? Who will you turn to for help then?
In other words, no matter what, you should maintain your independence, including mental and financial independence. Don't casually tie your life to a man. Even a kite held by a string can be blown away by the wind one day, right?
If you love him, you must be transparent about your finances.
Just because you love him, does that mean you have to tell him everything you earned today and spent tomorrow? Of course not. Even though two people in a relationship are in love, they should still be financially independent.
In other words, he doesn't need to give you all the money he earns, and you certainly don't need to obediently hand over your entire income. Doing so has many drawbacks, especially if you're both clueless about money management and never know where your money goes. Knowing how much the other person has will only lead you to spend it all.
If you happen to encounter a man who is either a conman or a womanizer, your money is very likely to be squandered by him or used to support other girls. Don't think that simply refusing to give him your password will protect you—many girls have suffered losses at this point, believing they can refuse his unreasonable demands.
In reality, emotions sometimes defy logic, making it impossible to think about and solve problems rationally. With just a few sweet words, you'd be more than willing to hand over your card and PIN.
Secret stash of money: an indispensable weapon.
Don't underestimate the importance of your own savings. In fact, it plays a crucial role in your relationship, and sometimes it can even be your lifeline in a crisis. Even in everyday life, you'll always have things you want to buy, like perfume or skincare products… things your boyfriend might consider impractical and wouldn't necessarily support your purchases. In these situations, using your own money gives you the most confidence.
More importantly, having a secret stash of money provides financial security—if your boyfriend is a man like Li Jia, after he betrays you, you can tell him, "I'll be fine without you." Let him regret it!
Of course, this is just a joke, but when you have your own savings, on the one hand, you can deal with the "what if" that your parents always talk about, which you think will never happen; on the other hand, you can also satisfy your daily life for a long time after a breakup, and you can also have extra money to buy clothes and play with your girlfriend, thereby relieving your depressed mood. Why not?
