The lack of sexual intimacy is a secret that many couples cannot reveal, a secret that causes pain, resentment, and heartache...
Last April, Daniel Wu, the "male god" of countless people, revealed on social media that he was in a sexless marriage. He said, "After nearly ten years of marriage, my genitals are probably the cleanest part of my body." He added, "Because I use them so little." This statement immediately caused an uproar among netizens. No one expected that even such a handsome man, especially with a beautiful wife, would be living in a "sexless marriage."
Sexologist Pan Suiming once conducted a survey and concluded that 21% of women in China are experiencing "sexless marriages," which has led to the emergence of extramarital affairs.
His research shows that the rate of extramarital affairs in China is very high, with 13.3% of women having affairs and 34.8% of men having affairs .
Many couples believe that having children is the death of their sex life. Su Jun and Yang Yuan have been married for five years, and for more than a year before that, their relationship was relatively close because they didn't have children.
However, from the time Yang Yuan became pregnant until she gave birth, Su Jun hardly touched her . Especially after the delivery, because Yang Yuan was only focused on the child , Su Jun had even less opportunity to touch her body. Furthermore, due to childbirth, Yang Yuan's body underwent significant changes in shape , which caused Su Jun to lose even more interest in her sexually.
Therefore, in addition to actual physiological factors, psychological factors also contribute to the lack of sex between couples.
Physiologically, once a woman becomes pregnant, as her belly grows bigger day by day, sexual intercourse can no longer take place. At first, the man may be eager and unable to resist, but as time goes on, that feeling between them will gradually be lost.
Some women, especially during pregnancy, experience both physical and emotional distress, leading them to distance themselves from their husbands. Even after childbirth, when women focus most of their energy on their babies, many become even less attentive to intimacy.
Psychologically, the lack of sexual intimacy over a long period can gradually create and widen feelings of estrangement. Moreover, as this estrangement grows, men tend to feel less affection for women whose figures have changed.
With the addition of a crying child, if the relationship between the two was not very strong to begin with, it was only a matter of time before it became a crisis.
Sexlessness is like a time bomb in a marriage.
Because Yang Yuan wouldn't let him touch her, Su Jun gradually developed a rift with her. Their marriage was arranged by relatives, so their emotional foundation wasn't very strong . Now, as they grew distant, Su Jun's heart was no longer with his family.
A sexless marriage is like cancer cells; as time goes on, these cells gradually devour the feelings between the couple.
First, a sexless marriage is a ticking time bomb in a couple's relationship. Sex is a private form of communication between spouses , and once this communication is lost, the emotional distance between them will gradually grow.
From the perspective of most men, sex is a major part of life. If a man cannot get satisfaction from his wife, he will try to obtain it from other sources. Furthermore, a prolonged lack of sexual activity can also affect physical and mental health.
Secondly, the emotional coldness caused by sexless marriages can affect the children's development . Many sexless marriages begin during the reproductive period, and some extramarital affairs often occur alongside the birth of biological children.
If a couple experiences an emotional crisis due to a lack of sex, it can further affect the child's future development, especially in families with frequent conflicts, where the negative effects will be even greater.
Finally, as sexless marriages continue, and if extramarital affairs break out, they further destroy multiple families , bringing negative and unstable elements to the lives of many people.
Therefore, the negative effects of a sexless marriage not only affect the two individuals involved, but also a generation or multiple families. To avoid this, the most important thing is to ensure that sex plays its role as a harmonizing agent between the two people.
"Marital life" is a lubricant for relationships.
Sex is wonderful, and newlyweds know this. However, as time goes on, emotional fatigue can set in, and childbirth can bring real and objective challenges. To change this situation, the most important thing is for the couple to make the necessary preparations before conception .
For men, pregnancy is an objective fact, and at this time they should shoulder their responsibilities . To engage in infidelity or extramarital affairs simply because of a lack of sex is not the behavior of a man. Therefore, during pregnancy, men should be patient and tolerant.
For women, pregnancy is an objective reality, but they shouldn't forget the nature of men just because of this objective factor. Because if they let their guard down, there's a high probability the man will leave.
In this situation, women should be considerate of men regarding sexual matters. For example, they can adjust their own mood and state of mind, build their self-confidence, and not refuse to communicate with their husbands.
Therefore, in essence, it's about couples learning to be considerate of each other. Only when they truly care for one another will their relationship remain strong and free from cracks or misunderstandings. Furthermore, as people age, they should appropriately increase the frequency of their sex life and maintain frequent intimate contact to keep their relationship consistently strong.
References:
[1] What happens if there is no sex in a marriage? Life Times, November 2, 2016.
[2] How terrible is a sexless marriage? .The Paper, 2020.9.25
[3] A survey on the current status of sexual life among elderly men in Huzhou City. Chinese Journal of Sexology, 2016.9.14
