Do you share your unhappiness with your partner? You might not mind venting about small things in life. But what about bigger, more upsetting things?
Building shared memories
A partner is someone who accompanies you through life's journey. If you don't let them participate in your life because you love them too much or are too afraid of losing them, they lose the essence and value of a partner. Whether it's joy or hardship, you can always deepen your understanding of each other through shared experiences, build shared memories, and elevate your relationship in the process.
Many people are like this, overprotecting the things and people they like to the point that they lose their inherent value and meaning.
Even if you love your newly bought clothes, you should wear them and take good care of them. If you just leave them unworn, they will still turn into old clothes over time, and they will be unjustly worn. True ownership is not just about name or property rights, but about the genuine relationship you develop through constant interaction with the item.
To avoid ever washing white clothes again, we don't buy them. Even if we desperately want to, we force ourselves to give up, thinking about the pain of washing them. Have you ever thought about it? Clothes, no matter the color, go through a process from new to old. Why can't we wear white clothes? If clothes get dirty, we can use laundry detergent, collar cleaner, or at the very least, bleach. Accidents happen when we go out, and we choke on water. If we're always afraid of everything, life wouldn't be worth living.
A partner is someone you share with.
Looking back on a relationship, what binds you together, besides the initial love, is the shared struggle through thick and thin, and the years you spent painting your life's canvas together. People need intimate relationships to entrust their lives to each other, accepting each other's lives, weaving together like fabric into a mature work of art. Without this process of mutual exchange, no matter how many years you've "loved" each other, you're still you, and he's still him; where does the "us" come from?
Furthermore, letting the person you love, who has always been by your side, fade from your life is an insult and a lack of respect for them. For a loving partner, understanding your true lifestyle and thoughts, sharing all the good things in life with you, and supporting you through life's setbacks and confusion is not only an obligation but also their right. No one who truly loves you wants to be the closest person to you yet the one who understands you the least. Even if you mean well, it inevitably makes the other person feel marginalized and deceived.
When my friend, on the verge of bankruptcy, finally confided in his wife, she was furious. She wasn't angry about his business failure, but rather that after so many years of living together, he still treated her like an outsider. This well-intentioned overprotection made her feel belittled; all these years, she felt she had only held the title of wife in name only, and he had no intention of sharing life's hardships with her. She preferred to experience the bittersweet happiness of hardship with her husband rather than remain an isolated outsider.
Make the best use of resources
The best way to love something is to maximize its value and make the most of it. The best way to love someone is to let them become who they are meant to be, rightfully and legitimately.
Aren't these examples similar to scenes in idol dramas? We often see this in dramas: well-intentioned concealment causes all sorts of trouble, but in the end, the partners are moved by the concealment, and the two fall in love again. Perhaps because of this example, we unconsciously use this method to handle things in real life. But can you guarantee that in reality, two people will go through ups and downs and still end up together like in the dramas?
The male and female protagonists have the courage because that's how the screenwriter wrote it. Will God arrange things the same way for you in real life? Also, if such a big thing can't even be known by the people closest to you, isn't the title of "the closest people" an exaggeration?
Flowers in a greenhouse cannot withstand the ravages of wind and rain; only trees and flowers that have weathered storms will flourish. Similarly, love not only requires mutual care but also the ability to weather storms together to deepen and strengthen.
