2020 has flown by, and the Spring Festival is less than 100 days away. The most joyful thing is family reunion. In rural areas today, it is almost impossible to find young and middle-aged laborers, as most have flocked to big cities.
Some couples move to the city to work with their families, but many wives stay in their rural hometowns to take care of the elderly and children, forced to endure the pain of separation. These women are known as "left-behind women."
There are 47 million left-behind women in China.
According to relevant statistics, there are currently 87 million rural left-behind people in China, of which 47 million are women . These women lack effective security in their lives and survival, and also bear a double burden of mental and physical stress.
In less developed rural areas, women whose husbands go out to work and earn money, leaving their spouses at home to care for the elderly and children, are called "left-behind women." They actively and diligently shoulder the burden of the family, learning to take on farm work and care for the elderly and children when their husbands are away, constantly busy in the fields and around the kitchen.
This is also related to the uneven development of different regions . There are fewer job opportunities in rural areas, and the main industry is agriculture. In order to provide a better life for their families, husbands usually go to economically developed areas to seek opportunities, especially to coastal areas, which leads to this phenomenon.
Left-behind women can also be divided into three categories according to age:
The first category is women aged 20-30.
These younger women often go out to work with their husbands, but return to the countryside due to pregnancy or childcare. During this one to three-year period, they often experience unmet physical or emotional needs, leading to divorce.
The second category is women aged 30-50.
These women typically face the dual pressures of caring for the elderly and children, as well as financial worries.
The third category is women aged 50 and above.
These women are often those whose children are married but not living nearby. They face a lack of care and attention, and may even experience mental stress.
What is the biggest problem faced by rural women left behind by their husbands?
In fact, the biggest problems faced by rural left-behind women are these three: first, a lack of care and fulfillment of their normal physiological needs; second, a weakening of their emotional bond with their husbands due to long-term separation; and third, the intrusion of a third party and the infection of diseases. These three problems are the reality currently facing most rural left-behind women.
The essence of a lack of sex life is a lack of love.
The biggest problem for left-behind women is sexual repression. Left-behind women are forced to endure sexless marriages, and 71.2% of them feel anxious and hopeless about it , while 39% of them often feel repressed.
A prolonged lack of sexual activity can not only affect the relationship between partners, but also their physical health, leading to problems such as hormonal instability and premature aging of the sexual organs.
Ms. Liu is one of the millions of women left behind in rural areas. She can only see her husband during the Spring Festival , while she spends the rest of the time taking care of her elderly parents-in-law and two children.
Every day, she has to get up early to cook, do farm work, feed pigs, and clean, spending more than 10 hours here. This kind of life has continued for 10 years. Due to the long-term hard work, she has not only developed physical illnesses, but also often feels lonely and worried, and feels that she is aging very quickly.
"The passion is gone; all that's left between us is life."
Wang Shoudi is 38 years old this year and has been married to her husband for 17 years. Thinking about how she recently spent the Mid-Autumn Festival with her husband, she feels very calm. Because her relationship with her husband has faded and become distant, she has gradually gotten used to this way of getting along.
Wang Shoudi said, " Now we live our own lives, he lives his life and I live mine ." Apart from occasional phone calls, her husband has gradually lost his initial passion, and the marriage exists in name only . For the sake of her child who is in high school, she sighed and said, "I can only endure it."
"We have all betrayed each other."
The journal *Chinese Journal of Sex Science* published the first domestic report on the sexuality of migrant workers. Among the 800 migrant workers surveyed, 15.8% had sought out "special services."
Zhang Yumei, a rural woman left behind in her hometown, has been married to her husband for three years and has a daughter. Her husband, who works away from home, is indifferent to her and rarely even calls. She has to take care of all the household affairs.
Unable to bear the loneliness, Yu Mei started chatting very enthusiastically with a male netizen online, to the point of arranging to meet. However, Yu Mei felt that this would be unfair to her husband, so she did not meet him, but they still kept in touch.
One time when her husband returned home, there was no joy in their reunion. He secretly made a phone call behind her back. Realizing something was wrong, Yu Mei checked his phone while he was showering and discovered that he had been seeing a prostitute and was having an affair! She also found an HIV test result in his suitcase . Yu Mei was furious and insisted on divorcing him.
Experiencing sexual harassment and sexual assault
The husbands go out to work, leaving their wives to live in the countryside. They often face sexual harassment from men in the same village. Some criminals take advantage of this situation and sexually assault some young rural women left behind. The women often dare not speak out for the sake of their reputation, which emboldens the criminals.
The situation of women left behind in rural areas is worrying. What should husbands do?
Given the dire situation of rural women left behind, what should husbands do? It's actually quite simple. First, they should provide them with ample care and love , offering them emotional support. Second, they should frequently make opportunities to go home , acknowledge their wives' needs, and communicate with them more. In addition to providing financial support, they should also listen to their wives' feelings.
Rural women are a still prevalent group in society, and we cannot ignore this issue. Husbands who work away from home should also pay attention: maintaining a marriage is not just about money. Giving your wife more care and communication will give the marriage a longer shelf life.
References:
[1] "Left-behind women: There is no passion left between them and their husbands, only the mundane realities of life." West China Network. 2016-03-08
[2] "(Left-behind wives) There are 47 million left-behind women in China whose living conditions are worrying." China Youth Daily. 2015-01-16
[3] "Follow-up to 'Woman Left Behind in Bin County Commits Suicide After Being Raped: Family Agrees to Autopsy'." Chongqing Morning Post. 2016-01-18
