As living standards improve, people's attitudes are becoming more open, and many young couples choose to live together when their relationship is at its peak to deepen their bond. However, this is often opposed by older generations, and for many young people, cohabitation is a highly controversial issue.
Do women mind if their partner has a history of cohabitation?
Xiaoli and her boyfriend have been together for two years and their relationship has been very stable. But only Xiaoli knows that she is still bothered that her boyfriend still has a place for his ex in his heart. Every time she feels that her boyfriend is ignoring her, she can't help but wonder how she can make him forget that woman.
It turns out that Xiaoli's boyfriend had a previous relationship and had been living with that girl for half a year. Many of his habits were "trained" by that girl, such as drinking a glass of lemon water when he wakes up in the morning, squeezing toothpaste from the back, and watching anime while eating .
Every time Xiaoli thinks about how happy her boyfriend used to be with another girl, she feels terrible, and it has become a thorn in her side.
When asked if she minded if her partner had a history of cohabitation, Ms. Xu bluntly stated: "What's the difference between someone who has a history of cohabitation and someone who is remarried?"
Ms. Xu is a very serious person when it comes to relationships. Since she is almost thirty and still single, her family has arranged several blind dates for her. A few days ago, her neighbor introduced her to a "high-quality man" who owns a house and a car and is successful in his career. Ms. Xu went to the date with some hope.
The atmosphere was harmonious throughout the process, but when Ms. Xu learned that her blind date had lived with his ex for a period of time, she immediately made an excuse to end the date.
After returning home, Ms. Xu complained to her friends, " Doesn't living together mean we're preparing for marriage? Since we're already living together, it's like getting married once, and I don't want to be a sucker ."
In fact, there are quite a few people who share Ms. Xu's views. In China, the phenomenon of unregistered marriages is still very common, and in many people's eyes, cohabitation is no different from unregistered marriage .
Sun Xianzong, a member of the Constitution and Law Committee of the National People's Congress, stated that there is a difference between unregistered marriage and cohabitation. Some couples may have already held a wedding banquet but have not registered their marriage. However, if both parties consider it marriage, and their friends and relatives also approve of their marriage, this stable relationship should be called unregistered marriage, which is different from simple cohabitation.
Of course, there are also girls who don't mind if their partner has a history of cohabitation. 22-year-old Yuanyuan believes that everyone has a past. Although her current boyfriend is her first love, she is not his first love. However, she feels that she couldn't participate in his past, but she will definitely be there for him in the future.
Yuanyuan met her boyfriend at a friend's gathering. At that time, her boyfriend was not single, and Yuanyuan did not have any special feelings for him. Later, he had problems in his relationship with his ex, which eventually led to a breakup. Yuanyuan stayed by his side through the difficult times.
Soon after, the boy confessed his feelings to Yuanyuan, and they started dating. Many people around them were skeptical, but Yuanyuan felt that living together didn't mean anything, and that people should look forward instead of always looking back . Now, Yuanyuan and her boyfriend are preparing for their wedding.
Women have differing opinions on the issue of their partners having a history of cohabitation, but what about men's opinions?
Do men mind if their partner lived with them before marriage?
Most men would mind, Mr. Liu said, " I'd rather marry a divorced woman than a woman who has lived with her ex ." He felt that living with an ex and then breaking up meant that she might date someone else and live with them again, which indicated that the woman's romantic history was quite complicated.
Mr. Zhang believes that he would only choose to marry a woman with a history of cohabitation if he had no other choice or if he truly loved her. Moreover, the fact that his partner had cohabited with someone else before would be a lifelong source of resentment for him.
What attitude should we take towards premarital cohabitation?
Is living together before marriage good or bad?
As people become more open about relationships, many couples choose to live together before marriage. However, premarital cohabitation has both advantages and disadvantages, and its impact differs for both men and women.
Firstly, regarding the benefits of cohabitation before marriage, women can gain a deeper understanding of their partner's character and lifestyle during this time, and learn about the differences between them . For example, one person may be clean while the other is messy, one may like to go to bed early while the other often stays up late. Understanding these lifestyle habits in advance can help avoid conflicts after marriage .
For guys, living together allows them to truly understand their girlfriends, realize that she has her little temper, and that she can sleep in late too, and that she's not the goddess she appears to outsiders. This helps them to better cherish her and strengthens their relationship.
However, premarital cohabitation also has certain drawbacks. In particular, if a couple breaks up after living together, it can easily affect the start of a new relationship . Moreover, for women, premarital cohabitation may also involve the risks and psychological burdens of unmarried pregnancy .
In addition, cohabitation is similar to married life, and the troubles of daily life are unavoidable. Both partners need to learn to be tolerant and make adjustments. However, the feelings of many couples are often worn down by some trivial matters in life .
Of course, whether or not to live together before marriage depends on the feelings of both parties. If they want to make living together a prelude to marriage, then entering a period of adjustment in advance and getting to know each other better can help their relationship grow stronger and eventually lead to marriage.
However, before moving in together, it's best to agree on some rules and tell your partner your bottom line in advance. This can help prevent the relationship from being negatively impacted by living together.
Everything has two sides, and so does premarital cohabitation. We don't need to view men or women with a history of cohabitation with prejudice. If we can't accept it, we might as well communicate honestly, support each other, and wait patiently for the next suitable person.
References:
[1] "Mother-in-law responds to couple signing cohabitation agreement: Any cohabitation not aimed at marriage is immoral." China News Network. 2015-12-30
[2] "Do you accept premarital cohabitation? The Marriage and Family Law should not avoid the issue of cohabitation." China Women's News. 2019-06-28
[3] Is premarital cohabitation okay? Psychological counselor Chen Xiaopeng. 2020-03-07
