(I) Break-in period
Getting along with your mother-in-law is like dating; it requires adjustment. Unlike your own mother, with whom you've lived since childhood and are used to getting along regardless of the good or bad times.
When I first brought my mother-in-law upstairs to help me take care of the child, I was mentally prepared for a long-term struggle. But once we started living together, some friction was inevitable.
The first thing that caused our conflict was the issue of object classification.
In the countryside, there's plenty of land and many rooms. Things are placed wherever is convenient. For example, clothes dried in the sun are placed on the sofa for easy access; a kitchen knife is placed on the coffee table for easy access when eating watermelon or fruit. (Imagine coming home and opening the door to find a gleaming kitchen knife on the coffee table—that's not home, I'd think I'd gone to Liangshan to become a bandit!) As for me, I'm like an ant before the rain, busy moving house, finding homes for all my belongings and enjoying it immensely.
Secondly, there are issues with hygiene habits.
She doesn't like to change her shoes when she comes home, and she doesn't use different types of rags. I vividly remember one confrontation with her. She grabbed a rag to wipe the table, but luckily I was quick and grabbed it, blinking and saying, "Mom, this is for wiping the toilet." "Oh." My mother-in-law let go, and I victoriously put the rag in the bathroom.
When I encounter these problems, my first instinct is to be open-minded and without resentment. If she can't do it properly, I'll do it. I understand that my mother-in-law isn't a maid, someone to be bossed around and then criticized. She's at an age where she should be enjoying her retirement, yet she has to come here to take care of the children and do housework; it's not easy for her, no matter what. Daughters-in-law who always think their mother-in-law is dirty, doesn't know how to speak, or doesn't know how to raise children should first ask themselves what they've done. They need to understand that what the elderly are doing is their responsibility. Why should they shirk their housework and childcare duties onto them?
Of course, my mother-in-law also launched a counterattack. She wouldn't let me off the hook when it came to turning off the lights. Every night, if I walked around with the lights on the whole way, she would follow behind and turn them off. Only when the three energy-saving bulbs were left emitting a dim light did she feel at ease enough to sit on the sofa and watch TV.
Living with the elderly has taught me the importance of saving. I learn to turn off lights and water when not in use. Bathwater can be used to flush the toilet, and the air conditioner shouldn't be set too cold or too hot. Empty bottles and boxes can be stored in a corner of the balcony; once accumulated, they can be bundled up and sold for money. Young people might not care about these small amounts of money, but it's crucial that everyone has environmental awareness.
(II) Integration Period
Now that I've lived with my mother-in-law for a long time, she's like my own mother. Even if we encounter any problems, we can talk about them face-to-face without beating around the bush or having my husband speak on our behalf. My mother-in-law mops the floor every day, and when the seasons change, she neatly organizes all our slippers and clothes. The clothes she takes back are mine in my closet, and my husband's are in his closet.
My mother-in-law always remembers what I like to eat when she buys groceries. When I caught a cold, she put cold medicine in my bag. My work schedule is frequently adjusted; I start work at 7, so she gets up at 6:30 to make breakfast. If I get up at 6:30, she gets up at 6; if I get up at 6, she stubbornly gets up at 5:30. As soon as I start brushing my teeth, she puts breakfast on the table and lets it cool for me…
After dinner, I insisted on washing the dishes so my mother-in-law could go out and do some exercises. On the Double Ninth Festival, I thought about signing her up for a tour so she could relax. Her hands tremble, so I bought her a massage stick. She coughs, so I made her some stewed pears with rock sugar…
Love her like you love your mother, and she will love you like she loves her child. Always believe that love is mutual.
