1. "I want to talk about what's going on between us." For men, "we" is the most frightening word. When you mention "we," you imply your unity with him, and men find discussing feelings the most troublesome thing in the world. When a woman brings up this topic, something is probably wrong, and it's about him. So you need to be wise; first, find out where the problem lies and tell him directly, instead of dumping all your emotional complaints on him, which will only confuse him or make him even angrier.
2. "If you really love me..." When a woman says this, a man feels he must have done something wrong again, making him feel guilty. This kind of statement is an ineffective threat. He might tolerate it initially, but when guilt turns to anger, he'll shut you down. Instead, try a more gentle approach, such as changing "If you love me, spend more time with me..." to "How about changing your meetings with friends from daily to once a week, so we can have more time together?" This will make him understand your thoughts and feel more comfortable accepting, allowing for discussion.
3. The phrases "You always...you never..." are like time bombs, ready to explode and destroy your relationship at any moment. This is because they are typically used by complainers. If there's a problem, you should sit down and talk it out. Let him know your feelings and suggestions, and then ask for his opinion. For example, you could say, "I have something to say. You've been watching TV for too long, and it makes me feel neglected."
4. "I want to hear about your ex-girlfriends." If you want to have happy times with him, never bring up his past, because this will force him to relive it. Whether it's reminiscing about ex-girlfriends or recalling unhappy memories, it's something you don't want. The more he knows, the more jealousy you'll feel, drawing you into an inescapable spiral of resentment. So, just cherish what you have now and let him keep his secrets!
5. "I'm so fat, ugly, stupid..." Don't say things about your shortcomings in front of your partner, whether they're true or not. This will only train him to criticize you. If he loves you, he'll accept everything about you. Let him discover your flaws himself. If it's not a matter of principle, he'll connect it to your strengths. Try to see yourself from an appreciative perspective! Actually, your partner isn't as demanding of you as you are of yourself.
6. "Talking to you is pointless." Do you find him boring, rambling, or lacking focus? In this situation, don't argue. Let him develop self-awareness. For example, stop discussing things with him or make no comment. Let your silence make him aware of the situation.
7. "I don't want to say anything." Women often don't want to express what they want, hoping men can interpret their expectations. Men sometimes do the same. In fact, to solve a problem, you need to speak it out. Trying to guess each other's intentions is exhausting and not always accurate. So, express your needs. This will prevent men from being confused, and encourage them to communicate with you in the same way. This will prevent constant complaining and foster closer relationships.
