In a relationship that's more than ambiguous but less than married—yes, the so-called dating phase—should a man feel justified in spending his money? If spending money were that simple, there would be no need to ask for answers to this question.
Half of the women would frankly answer: Yes. The other half would just smile and remain silent. However, everything has its beginning and end. A whole host of follow-up questions are about to arise: Should I spend the money? Will spending it make me lose my confidence? Will money overshadow love? And, how should I spend it to make everyone comfortable?
Question 1: Should I spend the money?
There is no single answer to this question, so any question related to relationships can be answered with the universal answer, "Only the wearer knows if the shoe fits."
If you want to spend money, then spend it generously. It doesn't matter. If you genuinely want to earn money to buy flowers for yourself, it's perfectly fine to buy the other person a plant as well.
What's worse is that you spend money while feeling uneasy, fearing that the sound of money swiping away will drown out the sweet words "I love you," or that you feel indebted because you're spending the other person's money, leading to more submission and tolerance in the relationship.
The worst thing is when your partner is willing to spend money on you, and you want to spend it too, but you refuse out of a desire to be independent. This sounds aloof, but it's actually the worst thing; you feel stifled, and the man isn't happy either. Spending your boyfriend's money doesn't mean anything, and not spending it doesn't mean anything either; it all depends on what kind of relationship works for you.
Therefore, there is no right or wrong, only whether you want to or not. If you want to, then you have the right.
Question 2: Can't I stand up straight when I'm spending a man's money?
It's true that if your boss, who pays your salary, tells you to sit and die, you can't stand and live. But a boyfriend isn't a boss. The difference between a romantic relationship and an employer-employee relationship is this: in an employer-employee relationship, money functions as a general equivalent. In a romantic relationship, however, money functions like roses and chocolates—it's a tool for expressing affection.
If you feel entitled to receive a bouquet of roses, then there's no need to feel guilty about spending a man's money—provided, of course, that he explicitly asks you to spend it. If you encounter a boyfriend who insists on keeping all the money separate from your own brother... that's not uncommon in reality either; in that case, you'd better look for another window of opportunity.
Furthermore, we can reason logically that if a man believes a woman should grovel before him because she's spending his money, then he likely wants either a sugar daddy or prostitution. If you unfortunately encounter such a man, one option is to confidently spend all his money; the other is to resolutely leave him.
Question 3: Will money overshadow love?
From world-class literary figures to popular square dance songs, everyone is discussing this topic.
Money and love are neither a VS nor a competition; given sufficient preconditions, they should complement each other and enhance each other's happiness. A date on the streets of New York is certainly more romantic than one under the second telephone pole at the east end of an alley; selling an ancestral gold watch to buy jewelry for a lover is only suitable for O. Henry's stories to move the world. In real life, the ideal scenario is that the watch chain and jewelry (and other reasonable needs) can be easily obtained with a credit card.
To be able to spend a man's money with a clear conscience requires, on the premise that you love him with a clear conscience.
Question 4: How should we spend the money to make everyone feel comfortable?
Men and women think differently. Your boyfriend letting you use his card is the whole story. Don't imagine scenes like him staring at the credit card bill, hesitant to speak. Whether a man kneeling down to ask you to spend his money is passionately in love or has a clear understanding of the relationship and money, it's perfectly reasonable in our society.
Of course, trust, communication, and a mutually agreed-upon bottom line are three indispensable elements. Becoming lovers means you're compatible in many ways, and trust is built through long-term, seamless understanding. Expressing problems promptly allows the relationship to continue developing in a positive direction. After a shopping spree, it's best to follow up: "Honey, what do you think of my spending habits?" Maintaining the bottom line ensures mutual enjoyment.
