Praising other men is tantamount to saying I'm bad.
"While Beckham, Tom Cruise, and Daniel Wu are undeniably handsome, women's admiration for them probably doesn't bother most men, as they're far removed from their own lives. But it's different when it happens to someone close to you. I have a good buddy who often comes over. My wife treats him like a friend, serving him tea and water, which is fine. But after a while, she started praising him to me, even getting all animated when she talked about him, like how capable he is and how tasteful he is. I felt really uncomfortable about it. It wasn't until I stopped inviting him over that my wife understood what was wrong." —Manson (31 years old, Beijing)
Please note: It must be said that even the most familiar couples often make a mistake—overlooking their partner's value. Although a woman loves her husband deeply and wouldn't stray, a man is very concerned about his perceived value as a "partner." It's like being compared to the neighbor's child by your parents when you were young; when the neighbor's child is praised, you might not say it, but you're secretly very unhappy. Moreover, the relationship between spouses is more selfish; if a woman truly loves her man, she should be cautious when discussing other men.
Even the smallest gift should be cherished.
"It was her birthday on the 8th. I went to the cake shop early and ordered a small cake. After get off work, I picked it up and happily brought it home. She wasn't back yet, so I put the cake on the windowsill and then ran out to buy some snacks, planning to have a candlelight dinner with her when she returned. But when I came back, I didn't expect her to be playing with the dog with the cake. I was a little unhappy. She paused for a moment, but didn't seem to care: 'What's wrong? It's just a piece of cake. I'm willing to give it to the dog. What's the big deal?' I was silent for a long time that day, stepping on cake crumbs as I went back to my bedroom and slept soundly." — He Mu (25 years old, Beijing)
Please note: Obviously, some partners have different personalities, and everyone values different things. However, whenever your partner is thinking of you and making sacrifices for you, you must cherish it and express your gratitude. This is a very important form of emotional communication. While a cake may not be an expensive gift, it's filled with his heartfelt sentiment. It's understandable if you're unaware of his intentions at first, but once you realize you've mistakenly fed cake to your pet, you should immediately recognize your disrespect and cherish and try to salvage the relationship.
Don't let others speak for you.
"I consider myself a decent catch, and I've been in a flirtatious relationship with Yingying for almost a year. Whether it's Valentine's Day, Qixi Festival, or her birthday, I always buy her flowers or ask her out. But Yingying's attitude has always been ambiguous; she hesitates and doesn't dare to express her true feelings. The more I pursue her, the more confused she becomes. One day, I asked Yingying out again, hoping we could go to the movies together. Yingying's colleague, Yingzi, couldn't stand it and blurted out, 'You shouldn't bother with Yingying anymore. She said you're not suitable for her!' I couldn't help but ask Yingying, 'Why aren't you suitable?' Before Yingying could answer, Yingzi interrupted, 'She said you're too delicate-looking and lack masculinity.' Those words left me speechless for a long time. At that point, Yingying felt she had to explain herself and quickly said she didn't mean it that way, she just hadn't thought it through. But I was very discouraged and never contacted her again, feeling it was pointless." — Zhang Jiang (33 years old, Shanghai)
Please be mindful: Whether it's a positive or negative response, even if you haven't made up your mind yet, you should promptly relay your true thoughts to the man. He doesn't have much patience. In particular, don't let your best friends or close friends relay messages for you or act as your spokespeople. Not only are they unlikely to express your true thoughts, but they might also convey distorted or incorrect information. No matter how you explain it later, the man will feel slighted and gradually lose interest in you.
Even intimate conversations between best friends should be kept within reasonable limits.
"When women get together, they inevitably chat about trivial personal matters, laughing about their husbands' embarrassing moments. But when women's private conversations are brought up in public, it's incredibly awkward for men! The other day, a few friends and I had a get-together, and my wife's best friend asked me in front of everyone, 'I heard you help your wife put on her bra every day, is that true?' Everyone burst into laughter. Although I pretended not to care and laughed along with myself, I felt really uncomfortable." — Binzi (27 years old, Dalian)
Please be mindful: Doing things for each other is a very intimate emotional exchange, but if you share everything with your best friend, especially if she's a blabbermouth, it can really hurt a man's feelings. So remember, when you're whispering secrets with your best friend, only "show off" the beautiful and lovely things, and don't inadvertently "betray" your husband!
Men also have a love of beauty.
"Most women fear aging. As they get older, they start exercising, getting massages, and beauty treatments. They project their own experiences onto their husbands, who aren't as handsome as they used to be, and think, 'Look at you, your belly is getting bigger, your hair is thinning, how are you going to go out with me?' Men, hearing their wives' mockery, think about how they work hard every day to support the family, yet their wives, who are getting plump and healthy, have less and less admiration for them. They think they might as well accept the flattery of female subordinates at work, regardless of whether she's sincere or not, since their wives don't even have any genuine affection for them… Don't ask me how I know all this so clearly." — Dave Lee (39 years old, Beijing)
Please note: Men are actually the most prone to giving up, yet they care a lot about positive comments about their appearance, seeing it as a sign of admiration. But who can stay young forever? Women love themselves to make life better, but what's the point of neglecting the quality of life for the people they love most and only caring about their own beauty? So, stop complaining. To preserve his good looks for longer, take action. Use good skincare products for your husband, or get him to exercise with you, and reward him with nutritious meals for his hard work! This is how you can keep your love forever fresh.
In daily life, couples who have been together for a long time will inevitably have some conflicts. However, some things shouldn't be pursued too closely to avoid unpleasantness; some words shouldn't be spoken impulsively to avoid causing serious harm. Be a smart woman—know these 12 taboo phrases you should never say to your partner!
1. How do I compare to your ex-girlfriend?
Clearly, this is forcing him to compare you to his ex-girlfriend. While women crave affirmation from their husbands, such as "Honey, you're definitely much better than her," this actually triggers some fond memories from his past. As a woman, you need to know how to help a man avoid those past memories.
2. I have nothing to say to you.
This is a reminder to him: We've reached a point where we can't communicate anymore! Should we consider breaking up? In reality, this might just be something a woman says in anger, but for a man, repeating such words over a long period of time will only make the situation worse.
3. What should I do if I'm so ugly?
This is a woman's way of testing a man's reaction, but over time, it can actually make him believe that she is ugly.
4. Look at other people's boyfriends.
"Other people's boyfriends are more handsome than you!" "Other people's boyfriends are richer than you!" "Other people's boyfriends are more gentle and considerate than you!" But men will say, "If that's the case, why don't you go to him?" Clearly, men hate it when their girlfriends compare them to other men.
5. Whose phone call was it?
When a man's phone rings, a woman will instinctively ask, "Whose call is that?" If the man hesitates even slightly, he will immediately face further questioning. Repeated questioning can escalate the conflict. As a woman, it's wise to leave some privacy for your man.
6. Look at others.
Women often use this to complain about a man's incompetence in a certain area. This accusation may be related to his career or his life, but it often deeply hurts a man's self-esteem.
7. Do you often think about her?
Women are sensitive and cautious creatures. Even though he may have long forgotten his ex-girlfriend, her fragile nerves always worry that he will rekindle his old flame. So she always likes to subtly question him from time to time.
8. Do you even have me in your heart?
Some women are extremely suspicious. Once they have a conflict with their husbands, they worry that he is doing something to betray them behind their backs. However, such distrust often makes the relationship worse. A good relationship between husband and wife depends on warmth and understanding, not on the cold war.
9. Where did you go?
Women often approach questions with a scrutinizing attitude, as if a man is having an affair if he is not in their sight for even a moment. In reality, men should have their own personal space, and loving him means trusting him.
10. It's all your fault
Women are often reluctant to admit their mistakes. The phrase "I was wrong" is often considered a man's prerogative. In fact, a woman's life is a failure if she never says "I was wrong." Occasionally saying "I was wrong" can make a woman more attractive.
11. If I and your mother fell into the river, who would you save first?
Many women like to use this question to measure how much their husbands love them, but honestly, men everywhere hate this question because no matter how you answer it, you're wrong. If you save your mother first, he'll say you don't love her; if you save your wife first, he'll say you're unfilial. Doesn't that make you dizzy?
12. What have I gained since marrying you?
Women who say such things are often very dissatisfied with their married life and blame everything on their husbands. However, unless you really don't want to live in this family anymore, because saying so will only make things worse.
