Which partner has the upper hand and which has the lower hand in a relationship? What determines this? The following six aspects can help you see clearly!
Are you able to work independently?
If you dare to travel to Tibet without your boyfriend, no man will dare to underestimate you! The untamed spirit and courage you exude will make men feel that they cannot control you, so they will not easily act recklessly in front of you.
Who arranges the daily chores?
If your daily life depends on him to arrange everything, your relationship isn't far from its end. What gifts should you prepare for a friend's wedding? Who should call the repairman if the DVD player stops working? Who should order food when eating out? Don't underestimate these seemingly trivial matters; only a clear-headed person can arrange them all in an organized and enjoyable way. In a relationship, whoever manages these details and has more creative ideas plays a leading role. The one who craves comfort and avoids worry will be bossed around.
Who initiated your date?
How many nights a week do you typically spend with your boyfriend? How do you decide on your dates? Do you always initiate the date?
If you initiate dates with him more than three times a week, take my advice and cut it down to at least two. Men are inherently hunters; they want to pursue rather than be hunted. Even in a stable relationship, if you're always the one initiating dates, he'll gradually lose interest.
Do you have your own social circle?
When you're deeply in love, willingly becoming his "clingy" partner is definitely not a good thing. You, who don't want to be single, constantly crave affection, and men call this kind of girl "clingy." She'll be heartbroken and cry if her boyfriend works overtime on the weekend and can't be with her. Such a girl may indeed evoke a man's tenderness, but be careful, this only happens when he's in a good mood. If he happens to be in a bad mood, he might say things that make you even more upset.
If you don't have your own social circle and attend all the gatherings with him, sitting next to him listening to his long-winded talk, then don't blame him for bossing you around. He'll think you're not independent enough and see your dependence on him as a burden.
The weekend is almost here. Who gets more phone calls between you two? If it's you, or if you're about equal, that's great. Your boyfriend at least knows that you have your own circle of friends and that you can be happy on your own without him. He might be a little unhappy for a while, but in the long run, he will respect people more.
Are you confident?
If you're not conventionally beautiful, at least you have a graceful figure; if your figure isn't graceful enough, at least you're intelligent and humorous; if you're not wise enough, at least you have a kind heart and youthful beauty—each of these is a valuable asset, enough to boost your self-confidence.
Not every girl is a beauty queen, but every girl can be incredibly confident. If you have enough confidence, your boyfriend won't dare to easily ridicule your flaws. Even if he does say something, you should just scoff. Of course, this attitude is for him to see; you should still understand in your heart that "if you admit your mistakes, you should correct them."
Are you fashionable enough?
What's wrong with being on the same wavelength as your boyfriend? Can you instantly name the hottest movies? Do you regularly browse the news and stay informed about world events? Do you read popular books and general magazines (don't just focus on makeup and fashion tips in fashion magazines)? Do you know the latest features of the newest mobile phone brands? Do you know about the latest popular restaurants? If the answer is "yes," congratulations, you've joined the ranks of "fashionable ladies." You can provide your boyfriend with information and advice in many ways, keeping your thinking on the same wavelength. Even if you have a very gentle personality, in his eyes you'll still be a "smart and independent girl"!
Loving someone isn't about words, but about actions. The things you can't hide are either farts or love. This saying, though crude, holds true. If the love a man expresses for you is undeniable, then judging his affections through details is certainly a very accurate approach.
Men are generally less perceptive than women, and there are many things women need to remind them of in a relationship. However, if he can consciously do the following seven things, then your place in his heart will be irreplaceable.
The first thing is after an accidental minor injury.
For example, if you accidentally cut your hand while chopping vegetables, or trip and fall, I believe any man would be concerned when such things happen. The love expert reminds you to observe his behavior two or three days later: Does he still remember to comfort you? Does he still seem distressed? If he has already forgotten about it before the wound has healed, then his love is more verbal than heartfelt.
The second thing is the phone's behavior before it runs out of battery.
When you're out and about, it's inevitable that your phone will run out of battery. This is when you can truly see how much a man loves you. If he really cares about your feelings and doesn't want you to worry, he'll use the last bit of battery to call or text you, saying, "My phone's dead, I'm at [location]!" or he'll call you from a friend's phone to put your mind at ease. If he didn't even think of you before his phone died, and you foolishly stayed up all night, then things don't seem very reliable.
Thirdly, they are willing to listen to your opinion before making a decision.
This decision encompasses many things, from major decisions like where to buy a house to minor ones like where to take friends out for dinner. A man who respects a woman's opinion is a man who understands love. Furthermore, habits are crucial in a relationship. If he consistently consults you on matters big and small from the beginning, he's very likely to continue doing so after marriage.
Fourthly, his attitude towards his ex-girlfriend.
This is a really difficult situation to navigate. Every woman hopes that the man in front of her is completely hers, but almost all men are more amicable towards their ex-girlfriends. A slightly smarter man might compare them in his mind, while a less intelligent man might just say it out loud. I think it's fine for them to be amicable as long as they don't cross the line. Of course, it's best to ask him not to mention his ex-girlfriend in front of you. If he can't help but mention her frequently, it only means he thinks you're not as suitable for him as his ex-girlfriend.
Fifth, patience with your parents.
There are two kinds of patience with parents. One is feigned patience; they seem polite and courteous, but when it comes to actually spending time with them, they'll make excuses. The other is genuine patience; they truly care about your family and are willing to spend time with them. Remember, spending time with your family is much harder than spending time with yourself, and this process is the key test. Especially when your parents are unwell, their behavior will reveal whether they truly love you and your family. If they do, they won't be afraid of getting dirty or tired, and might even treat you better than their own parents.
Sixth, take care of your health.
I believe that sending a text message every morning like, "It's dry, drink more water!" or "It's cold, wear more clothes!" is more important than sending a formulaic "I love you." Without care and attentive attention to your health, love—it just doesn't feel right!
Seventh, make yourself ugly once to test him.
I have a girlfriend who is very beautiful. Once, a white spot appeared on her arm, and the hospital suspected it was vitiligo. During that time, her boyfriend started neglecting her, offering no comfort when she needed it most, which broke her heart. Ultimately, it turned out the illness was just a false alarm, but their love was over. If you're willing, try seeing him one day looking a little disheveled and see if he's disappointed.
How can a woman be herself?
Being together isn't always about sincerity; it also requires some reasonable methods and skills to make your love effortless and happy. Why not? Here are a few secrets to make your boyfriend love you more and be devoted to you.
1. Be a woman who stands out from the crowd. You don't need to be rich, beautiful, or exceptionally intelligent, nor do you need to be born with a special aura.
For example, your smile (which brightens the room), pausing slightly when speaking (to avoid rambling or rambling due to nervousness), listening attentively, looking at someone with composure rather than staring, breathing slowly, standing upright, and walking with your head held high and a light step.
It doesn't matter if you're not a stunning beauty, didn't graduate from university, or are out of touch with the times. You can still be full of confidence, even more so than women with MBAs or wealthy bankers. You're not servile, hopeless, or "anxious," and you don't date men who don't want you. You can believe in the vastness and kindness of the world, and if it weren't for him, you wouldn't know: "The next man will be better."
You are not a wanderer, nor do you crave anyone's love or use sex to gain someone's affection. You believe in love and marriage, and you are not cynical. When a relationship ends, you don't cling to it; instead, you have the courage to start another relationship or attend a bachelor/bachelorette party. You are optimistic, wiping away tears to avoid ruining your makeup, and then forging ahead! Of course, this isn't how you truly feel; it's a pretense, but the longer you pretend, the more real it seems—that's what they call turning pretense into reality!
2. Don't call him (even if you feel empty and insecure). If he leaves a message on your answering machine asking you to call back, try not to. Only call back if there's an important appointment or something big happening, not just for casual conversation.
Not calling will make him crave you more, make him want to see you again, and call you again, without boring him out of knowing everything about you too quickly. Besides, if you only call occasionally, it will feel special.
Don't worry that not returning a call is rash. If he truly loves you and is eager to contact you, he won't think you're rash. He'll just think you're busy and hard to pursue, so he'll often call back.
Why do men hide their romantic history? (Ex-girlfriend strategy)
Have you ever noticed that conversations when men initiate phone calls are often sweeter? They call you because they're thinking of you, want you, and can't wait to hear your voice at that moment.
If a man likes you, he will definitely show it by wanting to get closer to you, be intimate with you, and care about you. So, if you're sure his approach isn't for any other reason, then nine times out of ten he really does love you. If you feel good about this man, then open your heart and accept it.
