"Who should manage the finances" has become one of the major points of contention among newlyweds. 53.2% of women believe men should hand over their salary cards after marriage, while only 17.9% of men share this view. It's worth noting that compared to owning a car or a house, "stable male income" is more likely to be favored by women.
The survey found that 81.8% of people believe that men can get married if they have a stable income, and 89% of women ranked "stable income" first. This illustrates that money is an unavoidable topic in Chinese marriages. This leads to seven major phenomena in Chinese-style marriages.
First, there is a strong attraction to the children of officials and the wealthy, with some even making cross-generational investments.
In matters of love, young, handsome, and wealthy men are often the first choice for women. If they can't win him over, they might resort to seducing his father. Such cross-generational pursuits are shameful if word gets out, but some women are utterly disregard for reputation when it comes to money. Once they succeed, they gain endless wealth and luxury, and their initial sense of shame is forgotten over time. More often than not, what people remember is only the envy, jealousy, and hatred that came with the wealth.
Second, as long as a man has money and status, even a married man can rise to power.
In today's society, it's commonplace for wealthy men to have mistresses. One reason is that after achieving success, men often develop a desire for sex, believing that maintaining a stable marriage is important, but having affairs is more about appearances. Therefore, to uphold their image as successful men, they may seek out a young and beautiful woman to accompany them. Another reason is that successful men who were originally content with their marriages may find themselves pursued by beautiful young women, and in this situation, they often readily accept. However, while married men tend to enjoy themselves for the moment, mistresses seeking financial gain often hope to become the legal wife, or at least acquire a house or a large sum of money.
Third, as long as a man has potential, marriage is possible even without love.
The most fundamental element of marriage should be the affection between husband and wife. However, many people marry not for love, but for a better material life. This has led to the phenomenon of "marrying first and falling in love later." After marriage, women who prioritize material things quickly exhibit a desire to control money. When men resist, conflicts naturally escalate. It can be said that marriage can be made or broken by money. Another situation involves women misjudging their partners. During courtship, they believe their beloved man is a promising prospect, but after marriage, they discover he is a worthless asset. Filled with regret, they angrily divorce him.
Fourth, fantasizing about a marriage between a "tall, rich, and handsome man" and someone without a mother.
"Tall, rich, and handsome" men are highly sought after by many unmarried women. Their height is primarily for the sake of their offspring; their good looks are pleasing to the eye; and their wealth provides the security they crave. Furthermore, if their partner's mother has passed away early, it would be even better, preventing potential mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflicts. This reveals the overly realistic views on marriage and relationships held by many women, and also exposes the cruelty of human nature. In reality, having a mother-in-law after marriage is a blessing, equivalent to having a free nanny to cook and care for the children. If you can't manage the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship well, you can only blame yourself for your own incompetence.
V. Getting married or divorced for the sake of a house
With housing prices remaining high, houses have become a hindrance to the happiness of Chinese people. Many people superficially believe that marriages with houses are not necessarily happy, while marriages without houses are definitely unhappy. As a result, houses have become a yardstick for whether a man is qualified to get married. Furthermore, due to the rapid development of cities, urban villages will completely disappear in the next few years. As a result, fake divorces or forced marriages around "demolition" are common. Not everyone can benefit from fake divorces or real marriages, and there are many families that frequently make headlines for their shady dealings.
VI. Marrying for the sake of marriage
There are many reasons why women remain single. Some are due to academic pressure, while others are too picky. However, when women reach marriageable age, they often face pressure from their parents to get married. Faced with this pressure, many older single women feel immense pressure and are willing to marry any man willing to do so. As a result, many women choose to have whirlwind marriages out of necessity. While these women may have some financial requirements, they are not demanding and hope to have a good life after marriage. However, the price of a whirlwind marriage often ends up being married to a 'scumbag'.
VII. Enduring an unhappy marriage for the sake of the elderly and children
Not everyone's marriage is happy, and not everyone can say no to marriage when faced with an unhappy one. This is because marriage is usually not just a matter between two people, but between two families. As elders, they don't know whether their children's marriages are happy, and the children don't want their parents to know about their unhappy marriages, so as not to worry them. Therefore, many people endure unhappy marriages to appease their parents' concerns. Children are the apple of their parents' eyes, and many people also try to maintain a complete marriage in order to give their children a whole family.
A strange phenomenon in today's society is that it seems abnormal for a successful man not to have a mistress. He naturally has a wife, and the marriage is often just a compromise, with neither party willing to divorce. Those who haven't had a mistress are even ridiculed for their sexual incompetence. But this isn't entirely true. Ambitious and successful men generally have strong desires, and many of them are sexually active yet loyal to their wives. Why are these men able to resist the temptations of other women and avoid betrayal?
Are those who are unfaithful to their partners simply because of a dull sex life? Not at all; there are many other factors at play. When a partner wanders off, infidelity becomes almost inevitable. Why do couples break their vows and become unfaithful? To maintain a healthy marriage, pay attention to these five key elements.
listen
You may not realize it, but your husband (wife) often feels that you simply can't listen to him (her). Think back carefully, do you often say things like, "I'm busy," or "Can we talk later?" Even if you're truly too busy, you should still set aside some uninterrupted time for your partner, even if it's the same old story, and listen patiently to the end. Listening is the best gift you can give to an intimate relationship; please don't underestimate its power.
touch
Almost everyone, deep down, craves and needs hugs and touch. If you only have physical intimacy during sex, you're essentially sending a signal that you no longer care about your partner. If you both feel a lack of physical contact, it's only a matter of time before your relationship fades.
Put others before yourself
If you truly want your partner to feel your love, then please put them first and consider their needs in everything you do, instead of always acting from your own perspective and making demands on them.
Always looking down
Some people are always downcast and look severely depressed, as if all happiness is very far away from them. Such people are prone to creating distance between themselves and others, and often it's their own doing. Even if you're truly unhappy, you need to learn to regulate your emotions. Always wearing a sour face in front of your partner will only spoil their mood. Continuing like this will reduce communication between the two of you, and even at home, feelings of loneliness will intensify.
Too harsh
Being demanding is an attitude, different from anger. Anger arises when your partner has actually done something that crosses your line. But if you're overly demanding, nitpicking everything your partner does—from their clothing choices to their favorite TV shows, music, and movies, even criticizing their friends—what husband or wife could tolerate that? So, stop complaining now. It's not too late to start making amends for the negative impact of your demanding behavior.
