Some women, once in love, become somewhat blind. They start racking their brains for their partner, constantly considering their needs and even doing many things for them. You think this is being good to him, that this is happiness, but you don't realize that it will only "spoil" him and devalue your love. Many women in the throes of new love often overlook this, consistently doing these foolish things that ultimately backfire.
1. He wouldn't answer the phone and kept calling.
Because you miss him and worry about him, you might call him countless times after failing to get through once. This frantic calling might scare him. Even if you love him and constantly want to hear his voice, men don't always see it that way. For example, if he's attending an important meeting, chairing a departmental seminar, or watching a game with friends… if you insist on calling him at that moment, it will only annoy him. He won't think you need him; instead, he'll think you're incredibly idle, boring, and troublesome.
2. You take care of all aspects of your daily life.
You do his laundry, cook for him, and even tirelessly wash his dirty socks, thinking he'll be touched. Yes, he might appreciate it at first, but over time, you become his maid, even taking it for granted. Men may say they need a virtuous woman to manage their lives, but if you overwork yourself for him, you become his mother. Who would be attracted to a mother? In a relationship, couples should respect and support each other. Therefore, sharing household chores is the right choice.
3. Always pestering him to accompany you
Women are a group prone to loneliness, so they can't live without companionship or love. In a relationship, they often experience anxiety and insecurity, fearing they aren't good enough to keep their partner. Therefore, they try every means to hold onto their partner, like conjoined twins, ideally inseparable 24/7. Consequently, if their partner neglects them, they'll go into dramatic mode, channeling their inner melodramatic characters, crying and nagging, questioning what they've done wrong. Who can stand this constant drama?
4. "Marrying him means expecting him to support you."
Some women marry men with the mindset that they're marrying him to be supported. "He has to be able to support me, otherwise why would I marry you?" This kind of thinking is unreliable, undesirable, and not a long-term solution. A man may support you for a while, but not forever. If you become a parasite dependent on him, like his pet, you'll panic if he doesn't give you living expenses for a month; he'll have you completely under his control. No matter how hard you work at home, he won't appreciate your efforts because you're not earning money; he won't consider your loneliness at home or the hardships of raising his children; you'll have to depend on his mood and whether he'll give you money for anything. Only when the man constantly complains, "You eat my food and wear my clothes," will you realize you've completely lost your dignity as a woman.
5. Constantly checking up on people and making relentless calls.
He goes on dates with friends, and you find out their names, genders, and the meeting place; he says he's working overtime, so you call his office at 8 pm sharp to check up on him… If there's "surveillance" in a relationship, what happiness can there be? If he really wants to escape, even constant checking up might not be effective. Love, no matter how beautiful, must have dignity. We all need to interact with those around us, we need work, and we need things beyond love. Think about it calmly: letting go is another way of holding on. Do you understand?
6. You will wait for him no matter how late he is.
It's understandable if it's an anniversary for two people, but if this happens frequently, with the partner always waiting no matter how long, it's a bit surprising. Occasionally, you should let your partner wait for you, otherwise, people will perceive you as a woman who can't live without a boyfriend and is completely dependent on herself.
7. Frequently holding the phone while waiting for the other party to call.
Some girls are so anxious, afraid their boyfriends won't be able to reach them, that they keep their phones next to them even while sleeping, just so they can answer their calls immediately. Prioritizing contact with their boyfriends at all times is actually bad. Not only is it bad for their health, but it also makes him think they can't live without him. While your boyfriend's affairs are important, someone who truly loves you won't get angry if you answer the phone a little late. There's absolutely no need to keep your phone constantly by your side, afraid of missing any of his calls.
8. At his request, refuse all outside invitations.
Knowing about your behavior, are your friends worried for you? Being so subservient to your boyfriend might feel suffocating. Even in the throes of new love, you should still maintain your personal space to prevent love from completely overwhelming you. Deleting all male friends' contact information and rejecting invitations from all friends (even close female friends) is not a normal way to develop a relationship.
9. You are available to him 24/7.
At his command, you're there whenever he calls; you'll always have time for anything related to him. Men often don't appreciate things that are too easily obtained, and they'll neglect your feelings because you might be neglecting yourself, focused solely on him. How can you expect him to care about you? You might not earn his attention. Don't call men despicable; women, or anyone else, often don't value things they get easily. It's just human nature.
10. He has never given you any gifts, but you have put a lot of thought and effort into things for him.
While love and money are unrelated, it's still disheartening to see men who always take without giving. When it's always one-sided giving, it makes the relationship feel unbalanced. If you don't want that impression, a give-and-take approach is better. If your boyfriend truly hasn't given you anything, subtly hint at it, gently probing for a connection – it can add a lot of spice to the relationship.
How should a woman date gracefully?
Men shouldn't be spoiled; the more you spoil them, the more of a jerk they become! Nowadays, men consider chivalry a rare virtue, which is hard to say is unrelated to the proactive women they encounter. Men have a weakness in their nature: the tougher the challenge, the more interested they are. The best and most effective way to keep them hooked is to play hard to get, keeping them forever guessing.
Men really shouldn't be spoiled. Spoiling them will ruin them, making them worse than spoiled women. Spoiled women might just be a little willful, but spoiled men are prone to losing their sense of responsibility. They'll lose patience and courage for proactive emotional and physical advances, and become increasingly utilitarian and pragmatic about love, seeing women like computers—once they have one, they'll upgrade if they get a better one in the future.
For a lover, the better you treat them, the higher their expectations become, and they expect you to treat them even better. When a man takes your care for granted, nothing you do will move him anymore; and if you do anything less than usual, even just a little bit, he will feel disgusted with you. Therefore, a man often goes astray because he is spoiled by a woman. In love, women are often prone to being presumptuous and self-righteous, thinking that the better they treat him, the more grateful he will be. But in reality, the better you treat him, the more he takes your love for granted.
Sometimes, a woman's slight firmness can actually soften a man's heart. Don't be too good to him or too bad to him on a daily basis; just keep things simple. Only at crucial moments should you give him a little surprise, let him feel that you treat him a little differently, and he'll love you even more. Of course, you can also sometimes ignore him, sometimes make him a little jealous. Love can't always be forced, can it?
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