Gentleness, a noble word. It represents good upbringing, grace, emotional stability, and self-control. Therefore, whether it is a man or a woman, having a gentle temperament is a wonderful thing.
Compared to a tomboyish, tomboyish girl, a gentle girl is much more adorable. Some girls are rough, bad-tempered, and love to complain. Leaving aside the fact that they won't find boyfriends, they're already lacking in charm! Girls, remember this: if you're not gentle, no one will truly see you as a woman.
Gentleness is not the same as being rebellious!
Some people might retort, "I'm just a tomboy, I can't be delicate and gentle." Yes, it's precisely because you have this mindset that you can't be gentle. Do you harbor this feeling: gentleness = lack of personality = conformity = being unreasonable? I'm a tomboy, straightforward, I like to be myself, so my lack of gentleness, my rudeness, my love of complaining—it's all because I'm sincere!
Don't be silly! If you have this kind of thinking, please, please, please get rid of it immediately! Because being gentle doesn't mean being without principles!
Many girls have a very wrong idea: that being gentle makes them seem easy to bully or weak. This is absolutely wrong. Gentleness means having a mild temper (but a firm attitude), considering others, and speaking and acting in a way that makes yourself and others feel comfortable. Becoming gentle doesn't make you lose yourself; on the contrary, it allows you to communicate more effectively with those around you.
Some women have particularly bad tempers, but if their boyfriends cheat on them and beg them for forgiveness, they start to consider getting back together; while some women have very mild tempers, but if their principles are violated, they immediately break off all contact with that person and never speak to them again.
The former is called a paper tiger, bullying the weak and fearing the strong, with low emotional intelligence, and deserves to be bullied to death for life; the latter is called easy to get along with and principled, and such a woman is lovable.
Cultivate a gentleness that makes others feel comfortable.
To become a gentle person, you must first change from within. Realize that considering others, being considerate, and being tactful are all virtues. Possessing these virtues will not only make your love life smoother but also help you avoid social troubles in life. Becoming gentle is like losing weight; you can't become fat overnight. However, you can become a gentle woman, both inside and out, through reading; or by dressing, grooming, and speaking, you can pretend to be gentle (even though you're often screaming inside).
Don't use being a "tomboy" as an excuse for not being gentle. You can choose to be a gentle tomboy, or you can cultivate yourself into a girl that makes people feel comfortable.
1. Cultivate your appearance: at least make yourself look gentler.
First, you need to be "gentle" in your appearance; dressing well can effectively showcase your personal style. Don't talk about "inner beauty" yet. How can someone who can't even take care of their own appearance claim to have taken care of their inner self? You don't need to force yourself to use clothes and cosmetics you can't afford, but at least you should "groom" yourself cleanly.
If you want to appear gentle and cute, try to dress in warm colors, with delicate details and adorable little touches. Don't just throw on anything. Whether it's a Western or Japanese style, pay attention to color matching and details; don't just throw on any old thing and go out. If you're not confident about your figure, always try on clothes before buying them. Install a large mirror in your home, and read fashion magazines regularly.
Whether you're a supermodel, an office worker, or a student, everyone loves jeans and a T-shirt. Yes, jeans are comfortable, but... they're incredibly easy to turn into a fashion disaster! Especially for girls with thicker legs, just ask a friend to take a picture of you from behind in jeans, and you'll know whether you should wear them or not. T-shirts also require a lot of styling skill; try to choose some T-shirts with a bit of design, not those cheap ones from Taobao. If you don't have good shoes and a bag to match, this outfit will quickly make you look like just another face in the crowd.
You need to realize that the cool look of jeans and a T-shirt is mainly for slim, tall people. So, if you feel your figure isn't perfect, you can choose to improve your body shape through exercise. Otherwise, please wear skirts whenever possible, choosing cute or stylish ones. Don't think that just wearing anything is comfortable and looks good. You should know that, in most cases, comfort and style are slightly contradictory.
For women, there are some other details, such as faded hair color, oily hair, and chipped nail polish, which can be extremely uncomfortable! I can't stress this enough! And it can make you look very sloppy.
Okay, if you want to dye your hair or apply color, no problem. But if the color fades, please make sure to get it touched up, because uneven hair, black in one section and yellow in another, looks really bad. If you plan to dye your hair or get your nails done, please ensure your hair is shiny, voluminous, and full, and your nails are clean. This is essential for a healthy woman. If you don't have these things, focus on improving your health first before considering these things; at least a healthy woman looks more appealing.
2. Nourish your inner self: Enhance your temperament
Often, the reason you can't be gentle is because you have a slightly short temper. I know that sometimes, a bad temper is actually a sign of not being very bright. It means you don't know how to solve many problems, you haven't learned how, and you get anxious easily; secondly, no one has taught you to control your temper from childhood, so all you do is vent!
To cultivate a gentler heart, it's essential to read more academic books and less of those nonsensical fantasy novels. Fantasy novels tend to become increasingly vulgar. If you're unsure where to begin, start with an art form you enjoy. For example, if you like religious music, begin with Bach's era. Listen to it often, and your knowledge will gradually broaden. Ultimately, your knowledge will reflect in your character.
If you have extra time, cultivate and develop a few hobbies that interest you to broaden your knowledge and enhance your aesthetic sense. Coco Chanel once said: "At 20, you have naturally beautiful skin; at 30, life experiences give your face its own mark; at 50, your entire life is written on your face." Beauty fades with age, but elegance grows stronger. Twenty or thirty years from now, it is this elegant demeanor that truly enhances your appearance.
On weekends, I'll learn a dance routine, go to yoga three times a week, learn oil painting, learn a simple piano piece every month, and travel the world whenever I have time… But don't tell me your hobbies are shopping for clothes, karaoke, staying home watching Korean dramas, and eating! Okay, fine, but you have to promise:
You enjoy shopping, which allows you to learn about different brands and products, improves your fashion sense, and helps you find your own style; you enjoy singing, which gives you a better understanding of pitch and melody, sparking your greater interest in exploring the music field; you enjoy watching Korean dramas, which allows you to learn a new language and gain a deeper understanding of different cultures. (However, if you simply enjoy watching melodramatic Korean dramas, I suggest watching American dramas instead, at least to improve your English skills); you love to eat, you are full of interest in the kitchen, and you cook different dishes and foods, mastering excellent culinary skills.
If your hobby doesn't bring you these kinds of changes or improvements, then you can give it up.
3. Cultivate the good habit of gentleness: Be more attentive to details.
Many "tomboyish" women are actually quite oblivious, often overlooking things in life and unintentionally offending others. Therefore, it's essential to be focused, attentive, and considerate of others to become a gentle and considerate woman who makes others feel comfortable!
▲When talking to others, always smile with a slight upturn at the corners of your mouth. Remember to smile even when making a phone call; the other person can actually hear your expression. If you have friends you haven't seen in a long time or friends who have come from afar, remember to give them a small "gift." When traveling with others, offer them tissues when they need them.
▲ Be polite to service staff when dining out; stand up and smile if someone is late. Do not make scraping noises with cutlery and dishes while eating; do not pick at food, and remove food from the table after chopsticks have touched it; use your little finger to cushion the placement of your cup and put it down slowly; fold used napkins so that scratches are not visible.
▲When walking, do not suddenly stop in crowded passages, be mindful of giving way to others, and frequently check if your belongings are blocking others; when entering or leaving a door, leave the door slightly open for the person behind you and nod and smile; when the elevator is overloaded, get off voluntarily, even if you are not the last one to get on.
4. Change your way of speaking: It won't kill you to speak more tactfully.
Being sarcastic and critical can be fun, but it's not exactly endearing. Complaining once a week is cute, but complaining every day is just too annoying. Besides, sometimes criticism is based on distorted facts and arbitrary definitions. Leaving aside the fact that complaining is detrimental to one's way of thinking, just think about it: can someone full of negativity and a sharp tongue really end up with their crush?
Speaking gently is, to some extent, a sign of consideration for the other person. A person who can consider others is, in fact, a manifestation of good manners and gentleness. There are several key points to speaking tactfully:
▲Use polite language more often, such as "Excuse me," "Please," "Thank you," "May I trouble you for this," "I'm so grateful." Using polite language along with a smile makes you appear polite, gentle, and cute.
▲ Don't be so direct in your speech. Consider the other person's feelings first before stating your needs. For example, if you want someone to help you create a PowerPoint presentation, don't just say, "Can you make a PowerPoint presentation for me?" Instead, ask if their schedule is convenient, explain why you need their cooperation, and the importance of the task. Finally, confirm with them whether they can help you. Making requests right off the bat is particularly annoying.
▲Please don't ask me anything like that!!! Please don't start by asking where you live, what your zodiac sign is, how much you earn, or what your parents do. Thank you! You're not selling insurance, nor are you checking someone's background. Respecting other people's privacy is very important. If you really must ask, you should say, "Would it be convenient for me to know your name/age?"
▲Speak slower and softer. You're not a vegetable vendor, so don't start yelling. Also, avoid swearing, like "fuck" or "damn." You're not trying to be a hero, so be polite; it'll make the other person feel better. However, never speak at a snail's pace; it...will...make...people...very...painful... If you're unsure how to manage it, record yourself speaking at home and listen to it to figure it out.
Gentleness is like the warm autumn sun, filtering through layers of leaves and spilling a gentle, comforting glow on the ground, warming the hearts of others. May each of you become a woman who warms herself and others. The above content is exclusively authorized for use and may not be reproduced without the copyright holder's permission.
