It's often said that it's better to tear down ten temples than to break up one marriage. Most people are hesitant to speak ill of someone else's marriage, especially since many of those arguing about divorce don't actually want it. So, in reality, whether it's your own parents, extended family, or close friends, they'll generally offer well-intentioned but ultimately unhelpful advice to endure it. "For the sake of the children," "Even though they have flaws, their love for you is unwavering"...
Let's not talk about the others. If you encounter any of the following situations, I advise you to get a divorce as soon as possible. Such a marriage is beyond saving, and forcing it to continue will inevitably lead to tragedy.
1. The other party is a drug addict.
Whether the other person is a gambler, alcoholic, drug addict, or sex addict, leaving them is the best option. They are like parasites, sucking away at your and your family's happiness. Drug addicts and gamblers will eventually go down a dead end, and if you continue to be tied to such a person, all that will remain in your life is darkness and nightmares. In addition to facing problems such as money and abuse, this kind of dysfunctional family will also seriously harm the next generation.
2. One party commits severe domestic violence.
There's no room for negotiation; divorce is a must. Domestic violence is the most unforgivable act, even more so than infidelity. Infidelity is done secretly, with a sense of侥幸 (a sense of getting away with it), but domestic violence is a blatant and brutal trampling of human dignity. Don't soften your heart and forgive your partner just because they beg, kneel, cry, and promise never to do it again. Remember, most cases of domestic violence will continue in a vicious cycle.
Children raised in environments of severe domestic violence often develop low self-esteem and low self-worth as adults. Statistics show that most juvenile delinquents come from families with a history of domestic violence. If you are a victim of domestic violence, then I only have one thing to say: Find a way to divorce immediately!
Besides physical abuse, verbal abuse is equally damaging, severely impacting your self-esteem and sense of well-being.
3. One party wants the child, the other does not.
If you have significant disagreements about whether or not to have children, your marriage, even if it survives, will likely not be happy. It's quite possible that in the end, the parent who wants children will have an extramarital affair and father a child out of wedlock.
4. Repeatedly cheating and showing no remorse.
If your partner cheats, you need to consider the details before deciding whether to forgive them: Was it a one-night stand or a secret relationship that lasted for years? Was it just a physical act or did they act on impulse? If it was just a one-time affair, and your partner's intention to repent and their actions are genuine, and you don't have a strong aversion to infidelity, you can consider forgiving them.
But if your partner is having an affair every now and then, believe me, a leopard can't change its spots. If you encounter this kind of person, you should just break up with them. Otherwise, if this continues, the number of times you've been cheated on could circle the earth three times.
Xiao Jiu particularly despises those wives who publicly confront their husbands' mistresses. As the saying goes, flies don't land on eggs without cracks; why should women make things difficult for each other? Staying away from scumbags is the right thing to do. Another saying goes, a bitch and a dog are a perfect match; you're smart enough to take the house, the money, and the son with you, so they can grow old together and never come out to harm the world again.
5. Love is gone.
While love is like fine wine, growing richer and more mellow with time, some relationships are like sand in your hand, slowly dissipating in the wind. Many couples who marry around 25 may find that by 35, one partner has likely fallen for someone else or developed feelings for a different type of person. Such a loveless marriage is truly not worth clinging to; forcing the other person to stay will only lead to resentment. It's better to let go gracefully; after all, we're still young, why worry about finding a second spring?
6. I can't think of any reason to continue.
If you've consulted various channels, heard advice from family, friends, relationship experts, and tried every possible way to save your marriage, but the situation is still dire, then whether you agree or not, this marriage is over.
For many people, the question isn't whether to stay or leave, but rather what they should understand: what they truly need and what they cannot tolerate.
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