In ancient times, love, respect, and harmony were considered the ideal state. The highest praise for a Chinese couple is not being inseparable, but rather treating each other with the respect due to guests. Chinese couples are never lacking in silent support and mutual assistance, nor in forbearance, perseverance, and sharing joys and sorrows. However, they are prone to marriage becoming bland and tasteless because they lack these seven things.
Lack of humor
Humor also needs to be timed correctly.
Many minor frictions in life are fleeting and don't need to be taken too seriously. Sometimes, a lighthearted and humorous approach can turn a heated argument into a lighthearted laugh. When using humor to defuse conflict, it's important to choose the right time and not neglect to listen. Sometimes, when your spouse is seriously discussing something with you, you should take it seriously and let them know that you are gradually understanding the issue, avoiding giving them the impression that you always laugh it off and can't take things seriously.
Lack of romance
The essence of romance is sincerity.
Romance is a borrowed word, and it's rarely advocated in traditional Chinese views on marriage. Even today, many people still believe in the idea that "simplicity is true happiness," thus neglecting to please their partners. As couples get to know each other better and their paces become more aligned, life may indeed become mundane, but the affection shouldn't fade with time. Feelings for your partner shouldn't just be kept in your heart; they should be expressed through actions and words, such as giving them unexpected little gifts from time to time, or secretly buying tickets to a concert they've long wanted to see. Marriage may tend towards the mundane, but we should still put in the effort to make each other feel that the love is still there.
Lack of communication
Breaking down the barriers in one's inner world
Communication isn't just for major family events. Regularly sharing the little things in life strengthens a marital relationship, allowing us to maintain understanding of our spouse's inner world. However, it's important to avoid communicating when hungry, sick, tired, or busy, to prevent ourselves or our partner from unconsciously venting other negative emotions during conversation.
Lack of appreciation
The closer the relationship, the more appreciation is needed.
As people spend more time together, their flaws become apparent through friction, while their strengths become commonplace over time.
In Chinese culture, praise and affirmation are often equated with flattery. Many believe that flattery is only necessary when one needs something from another, and following this logic, family members have no need to express praise. However, in marriage, we all hope our partners will see our efforts, and affirmation makes them feel that their contributions are worthwhile. On the other hand, we also crave unconditional affirmation from our loved ones, which makes us feel cherished and loved.
Lack of childlike innocence
Seasoning the little things in married life
Fun is a great lubricant for a couple's life. Occasionally expressing affection with a childlike spirit—like playfully teasing your partner or playing childhood games together—can spice up a mundane and monotonous daily life, making marriage more interesting and vibrant. Couples with a childlike spirit find life easier and are better at discovering the joys of everyday life together.
Lack of intimacy
Showing affection is not shameful
A roommate relationship filled with mundane daily routines and as stagnant as still water is a common problem among Chinese couples, sometimes referred to as "Chinese couple syndrome."
Many people often think that long-married couples don't need to be overly affectionate, and may even feel shy about it. In fact, physical contact plays an important role in maintaining a good marital relationship. It's important to note that the areas touched should be comfortable for the spouse and avoid anything that might offend them; otherwise, it can have the opposite effect. For example, some women are very averse to their husbands touching their faces with unwashed hands.
Lacking sweet words
Expression allows love to flow.
Chinese couples often say, "We've known each other for so many years, we both understand." The truth is, if we don't express it, the other person won't know your true feelings. In the mundane routine of daily life, love needs to be emphasized countless times, letting the other person know how you feel at that moment. Language allows love to flow between each other's hearts. When you are moved by your partner's actions, you can say, "What you did for me makes me feel so happy." When your partner encounters setbacks, tell them, "No matter what happens, I will face it with you!"
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