#Do you accept relationships between older women and younger men?#
"I can't accept it. Men mature later anyway, so it would be too tiring to find someone younger than me!"
#How many years older can you accept in your partner?#
"No upper limit, older men are best, they're charming and caring..."
As romantic storylines about older women and younger men continue to unfold in TV dramas, many celebrities in real life have also portrayed the sweetness of such relationships, giving "older woman-younger man" relationships a real boost. Just when this trend was at its peak, a new phenomenon called "May-December romance" suddenly emerged to compete with it.
Middle-aged men, once considered "old and sturdy," have become a popular choice for many young women looking for a partner.
Why are more and more people interested in May-December romances?
Romance is essentially a byproduct of the industrial age, where increased productivity has given people more time . In the agrarian era, due to low productivity, people had to be busy producing things every moment, so they didn't have time to invest excessive energy in romance.
The industrial age, coupled with the prevalence of consumerism , has ultimately fostered a greater variety of romantic relationships. Age-gap relationships are not unusual; they have always been intertwined with romances between people of the same age.
However, with the advent of the information age, on the one hand, many cases have been disclosed, and on the other hand, the convenience of online platforms has provided people with a place for public discussion.
It is precisely because this form has become openly popular and widely discussed that it has objectively promoted the popularity of the concept of May-December romance and created a very suitable, even somewhat ambiguous, atmosphere for young people.
This atmosphere, in turn, fostered the popularity of this concept. Thus, through mutual reinforcement, May-December romances became increasingly popular.
From the perspective of male-female relationships, whether it's a man seeking a female partner or a woman dating an older man, the underlying factors are both psychological and practical .
For example, in a relationship where the woman is older than the man, from a psychological perspective, if a man likes an older woman, it means that he still has a certain Oedipus complex. He has an instinctive dependence on women who are older than him, and this dependence can create a sense of security for him.
In this relationship, the older woman essentially plays a maternal role, caring for the man in every way, which to some extent reflects the woman's maternal instinct.
If a woman is dating an older man, it indicates that her psychological maturity is much higher than that of men of the same age . Women naturally mature earlier than men, and dating an older man can be psychologically comfortable for them, as they don't have to be responsible for his immature behavior.
Moreover, the inherent maturity of older men can, in turn, make women feel safe , thus creating a win-win situation and making the relationship more stable in practice.
From a practical standpoint, whether a man is dating an older woman or a woman is dating an older man, the older partner is usually financially superior to the younger partner , sometimes by a significant margin. This provides a stable and practical guarantee for the younger partner.
Is a May-December romance true love or just a fleeting sexual impulse?
Human nature is inherently inclined to seek advantage and avoid harm, so May-December romances, both psychologically and practically, are a complementary relationship. However, in reality, some scammers prey on this very need to swindle money.
At a marketing event, 70-year-old Mr. Zhang met 29-year-old Ms. Hong by chance . At their first meeting, Mr. Zhang saw Ms. Hong as his lover from his youth, so he was moved and learned more about her.
Xiao Hong told Lao Zhang about her situation without reservation, which made Lao Zhang even more interested. He even told Xiao Hong that she could contact him directly if she needed anything in the future. In this way, the two gradually got in touch.
After that, Xiao Hong would contact Lao Zhang from time to time. However, in most cases, Xiao Hong would try to persuade Lao Zhang to buy their company's products. Lao Zhang's pension was not very high, and each expenditure of thousands or even more was gradually becoming unbearable for him.
Moreover, the fact that he was having this kind of ambiguous relationship behind his wife's back made Lao Zhang feel a lot of guilt , but when he thought of Xiao Hong's tender and quiet demeanor, Lao Zhang wavered.
As time went on, Lao Zhang felt that this May-December romance had gone far enough and he wanted to take things further to physical intimacy, but Xiao Hong always made excuses to avoid it.
Afterwards, Lao Zhang gave Xiao Hong over ten thousand yuan in one go, at which point Lao Zhang had almost no money left. Just when Xiao Hong asked Lao Zhang to give her money to buy products again, Lao Zhang, who really had no money, had no choice but to tell her the truth.
After that, Xiao Hong stopped paying attention to Lao Zhang, ignoring his calls and texts. Only then did Lao Zhang realize that his so-called May-December romance with Xiao Hong was nothing more than a tactic by Xiao Hong to boost her sales performance.
After thinking it through, Lao Zhang's love turned to hatred. He went to Xiao Hong's company and threatened her to return the money. In the end, Xiao Hong's company returned part of the money to Lao Zhang, and Lao Zhang, who regretted his actions, no longer planned to pursue the matter.
In fact, besides the risk of being scammed, May-December romances can also lead to other marital crises . A woman in her 20s from Bobai County married a man 21 years her senior and bore him six children over a decade.
However, their life together was not happy afterward. The man frequently abused his wife, and eventually they went to court to divorce, and there were also many disputes over the custody of their children.
Do you support May-December romances?
The May-December romance is essentially a voluntary choice between the two parties , and the subsequent development of the relationship is likely to be influenced by the foundation upon which this voluntary choice was initially established.
Aside from couples who are truly in love, many May-December romances in society are also based on economic considerations. If economic factors are placed too much emphasis , the chances of problems arising later in the relationship increase, because the initial attraction was not based on love.
Therefore, when it comes to May-December romances, one must first fully consider what one wants, and secondly, understand what the other person wants. Whenever there is an age gap between two people, there will inevitably be differences in their perceptions.
To mend the underlying feelings, the most important thing is for both people to completely open up to each other . If the relationship is like this, the chances of problems arising are relatively small.
If the marriage is solely based on one party's financial strength and the younger party wants to rely on them, then the likelihood of problems arising after marriage increases due to the lack of an emotional foundation.
Therefore, the key to a May-December romance is to clearly consider the needs and desires of both parties and to remain honest about their feelings in order to ensure that the relationship is reliable and feasible.
References:
[1] A woman born in the 1990s married a man 21 years her senior and had six children. Now, the "May-December romance" couple is in court. Bobai County Court, April 18, 2020.
[2] A 70-year-old man falls for a 27-year-old woman's "May-December romance"—it turns out to be an ambiguous marketing scam. Northeast News Network, September 14, 2016.
[3] Success and failure both stem from age-gap relationships. Beijing Evening News, July 16, 2020.
