Traditionally, women tend to choose partners who are older and more mature, seeking to take care of them. There's a saying: "A woman three years older than her husband is like holding a gold brick." However, with economic and social development, having a younger lover is becoming increasingly fashionable. But is a younger lover reliable? Can the two of them spend the rest of their lives together?
Xiaoling and Xiaochen have been together for three years. Whenever they go out and are praised by strangers as a perfect match, Xiaoling feels secretly sweet. At that moment, she and Xiaochen exchange a smile, everything understood without words. Their friends also think they are a perfect couple; the only drawback is that Xiaoling is five years older than Xiaochen. After three years, their relationship has reached a crossroads, and Xiaoling feels uneasy every time she thinks about it.
Let's analyze why relationships between older women and younger men have suddenly become popular. Some have summarized three main reasons: First, the world has changed. Good men older than oneself are hard to find, while younger men are popping up everywhere. They are of high quality and have a strong preference for older women, so why not pursue a relationship with an older woman? Second, in today's high-pressure world, men don't want to take care of others; they prefer to be taken care of by women. Therefore, marrying an older woman or a stepmother is a good idea, especially for beautiful and wealthy female celebrities who seem to be getting a great deal. Third, it's influenced by Europe, America, Japan, and South Korea. According to surveys, in recent years, relationships between older women and younger men have increased 25-fold in the UK, and in Japan and South Korea, over half of young people favor such relationships.
According to the diary of a single woman, "Men in their thirties are problematic and annoying. They sigh all day long, have anxiety problems, and suffer from severe paranoia, believing that all women will try their best to trap them in their marriage traps. These days, I'm only interested in young men in their early twenties..."
However, there are obvious drawbacks to the woman being older than the man. Although age isn't a problem, height isn't a distance, and weight isn't a pressure, physiologically speaking, a woman at forty is past her prime, while a man at forty is in his prime. They might seem like a perfect match when they first get together, but after a few years they become like siblings. And then, a decade or more later, if you're walking down the street with him and someone asks, "Is this your son?" how would you feel?
Secondly, there are differences in personal values. The generation gap of three years has been replaced by a one-year gap in today's rapidly developing society. Take the middle-aged and early-born (born in the 1980s and early 1990s) as examples. They are only a few years apart, but their childhood and adolescence were marked by vastly different trends, lifestyles, and social circles. This naturally influences their interpersonal relationships and their pursuit of life.
Furthermore, his young age and immature personality might be a factor. A woman naturally hopes to find a man to take care of her for life, and while having a younger lover might seem prestigious, what if this younger lover is just as willful and immature as her own brother? Would he refuse to admit his mistakes, leaving her to clean up his messes, and unable to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage? This completely contradicts a woman's initial reason for entering into marriage.
Finally, there's the pressure from family and friends. Although relationships between older women and younger men are a new and fashionable trend, outsiders inevitably view the relationship with interest. If they break up, they'll sigh, "If only we'd known it would end like this." If they stay together, they'll seem to be watching a drama unfold, anticipating something. Plus, older generations tend to be more conservative and may not accept such a rebellious relationship. If the man can't persevere, the woman will only end up heartbroken. In that case, it truly is a case of losing everything.
However, theoretically speaking, the ideal marriage model is "the woman is older than the man".
A social survey on divorce rates found that two-thirds of divorces are directly related to sexual incompatibility! This illustrates the crucial role sex plays in marriage and family. Looking at the trajectory of sexual physiological development in both sexes, a man's peak sexual maturity occurs around 18-20 years old, followed by a steady decline after age 40. A woman, on the other hand, typically reaches peak sexual maturity between 35-40 years old, with many not showing signs of decline until after 50.
Marriages between people of similar age are the most common in life, and they generally have a "golden period" of more than ten years in terms of sex. After both of them enter their forties, sexual harmony will be compromised to some extent, and marital instability is most likely to arise from this.
Therefore, the union of a 30-year-old man and a 40-year-old woman is theoretically ideal, as both are at their peak of physical and psychological maturity. They are not only more likely to understand and communicate emotionally and complement each other in life, but their sexual experience is also more perfect—one is like a powerful sail, and the other is like a steadfast oar, allowing them to experience the ultimate bliss amidst raging storms.
For men, older women are more modern, experienced, and less preachy than mothers; older women are slightly plump, while younger women are thin, malnourished, and alluring; older women are sweeter-talking than younger women; they offer a sense of security, are genuine, and know how to make people happy and are considerate. "Finding a woman older than oneself as a partner" has become increasingly fashionable among many young men in recent years. The criteria for choosing a partner have subtly changed, with traditional young beauty being increasingly replaced by pragmatism such as "maturity, purity, and femininity" in the minds of many men.
A woman who is mature in all aspects—physiologically, psychologically, and personally—possesses the greatest charm to attract men. A pretty but talentless young girl is clearly unsuitable, while a woman with life experience is often someone who can stand shoulder to shoulder with him through thick and thin.
If we only consider the simple perspective of female beauty, of course, younger women are better. However, the experience, wisdom, warmth, and even the subtle charm emanating from the accumulated fat of older women are endlessly appealing to men. Some people call it the "deep fragrance of a ripe apple" rather than the superficial scent of a flower.
Men these days are exhausted, and they crave a full embrace. An older woman's understanding and gentleness can relieve a man's inner pressure and depression, and has a very good therapeutic effect.
Therefore, relationships between older women and younger men face many more pressures compared to relationships between people of similar age. However, this age gap can also be beneficial for the long-term development of the relationship.
Whether the woman is older than the man or vice versa, the essence of love remains unchanged: two people genuinely love each other. The criteria for a good partner also remain the same: being with him should make you feel relaxed and happy, like discovering a beautiful new landscape in life. If your heart and feelings tell you this, then ignore unpleasant issues like age, height, weight, or social standing. What you need to do is hold onto this man tightly and not let him go.
