In today's society, especially in highly industrialized areas, people are staying single for longer periods, and the proportion of singles in the population is increasing. Influenced by some outdated ideas, "leftover men" and "leftover women" not only have to endure the loneliness of being single but also face pressure from society and family, leading many to desperately want to find a partner. However, everyone's personality and circumstances are different; what is a loving marriage or romantic relationship for others may not be suitable for you. To determine whether being single is better or finding a partner is better, you can try seeking answers in psychology.
An analysis of 48 studies concluded that people in romantic relationships have higher life satisfaction and are generally healthier mentally and physically compared to single people. However, this conclusion is not universally applicable and depends on individual circumstances. In social psychology, there's a concept called "social goals," which can be categorized as "avoidant" or "approach-oriented." People with avoidant social goals tend to avoid interpersonal relationships, while those with approach-oriented social goals are more willing to make friends.
It is well known that maintaining a healthy intimate relationship is no easy task. Once a relationship is established, there is a possibility of facing numerous potential harms, such as disappointment, conflict, and betrayal. Avoidant individuals selectively avoid conflict and disagreement in intimate relationships, maintaining the relationship by avoiding negative factors. These individuals are more prone to anxiety and loneliness, are more alert to negative events in intimate relationships, often interpret and predict behavior from a pessimistic perspective, and tend to focus on problems in the relationship to avoid potential harm.
Approach-oriented individuals, on the other hand, seek to strengthen and foster intimate relationships. They experience higher satisfaction with various social relationships, view neutral events more positively, and are less affected by negative events. Simply put, approach-oriented individuals focus on the positive aspects of relationships to achieve optimal results.
The difference between the two can be illustrated with an example: If a boyfriend is late for a date, an avoidant person will think, "He's late for such an important date, he doesn't love me at all. I'll never ask him out again to avoid getting hurt." But an approaching person will think, "He's usually not late, something must have kept him up, I need to check on him."
Research has found that for avoidant individuals, being single or in a relationship has no impact on their happiness; in fact, they may be happier being single. This is because they don't have the obligations of a relationship, nor do they constantly worry about relationship problems, allowing them to fully dedicate themselves to their hobbies and career aspirations. On the other hand, approach-oriented individuals find being single extremely difficult, experiencing very low levels of happiness.
If you're single, reflect on whether you prioritize the negative or positive aspects of relationships. Assess your own social goals before deciding whether to seek a partner. ▲ Peng Kaiping, Head of the Department of Psychology, Tsinghua University. The above content is exclusively authorized for use and may not be reproduced without the copyright holder's authorization.
