"I'd rather die than have children"... What's wrong with them?

During childbirth, those untold stories about poop and pee...

Mother's Day is the second Sunday of May every year. Although we always say "giving birth is not easy" and "mothers work so hard," do we really know how difficult childbirth is?

A while ago, a post by Weibo blogger @花开富贵老娘 (Huākāi Fùguì Lǎoniáng) sparked a heated discussion among netizens about childbirth. Of the more than 20,000 comments, half were from women who had given birth sharing their "tragic experiences" after childbirth, while the other half were from women who had never had children, declaring, "I'd rather die than have children!"

23,000 comments, 86,000 reposts—it can only get worse...

A friend said that she witnessed her grandmother's uterine prolapse when she was a child, and it has haunted her ever since...

But after seeing this post, I realized that many people's mothers and grandmothers actually have many health problems after giving birth, but they never tell their descendants, especially their daughters.

Childbirth is never a simple matter!

Besides what we learn from various print or electronic media, and what mothers have experienced to varying degrees:

During the first and second trimesters, hormonal changes can cause coughing, urinary incontinence, increased urination frequency or urinary urgency, and joint pain. As the fetus grows, lower back pain and mild diastasis recti may also occur.

In late pregnancy, the curvature of the abdomen and lumbar spine becomes greater, the degree of diastasis recti and lower back pain worsens, and problems such as pelvic disorder, pelvic floor dysfunction and pubic symphysis separation appear one after another.

After childbirth, various factors can lead to postpartum dysfunction, postpartum urinary incontinence, hair loss, sexual dysfunction, uterine prolapse, abdominal laxity, lower back pain, mastitis, pelvic pain, and other symptoms.

And then there are the occasional "scary" findings from various studies—

For example, a study published last year in *Human Reproduction* found that women who had given birth had altered genetic markers, including shortened telomeres. Compared to women who had never given birth, women who had had at least one child had telomeres that were, on average, 4.2% shorter, equivalent to their cells aging 11 years faster!

Telomere length is a marker of cellular aging and is associated with a variety of chronic diseases. Multiple studies have found that shorter telomeres are associated with an increased risk of type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, inflammation, and cancer; even psychosocial states and stress can affect telomere length.

For example, Dolly the sheep, because it was cloned using cells from an adult sheep, was born with short telomeres and died of lung disease in her prime (a common disease in older sheep...).

Even things that were considered beneficial in the past are now found to be not so.

For example, people have found in the past that having children can reduce the risk of breast cancer.

However, last year, the Annals of Internal Medicine revealed a "cruel fact": the effect of "raising children to prevent breast cancer" may not be seen for more than 20 years. In the first few years after childbirth, the risk of breast cancer will rise sharply, almost doubling!

The risk of breast cancer increases by 80% 4.6 years after childbirth!

In fact, the number of births has long been recognized as being associated with a variety of chronic diseases:

On the one hand, the incidence of breast cancer and ovarian cancer is rising among women who have never given birth; while the incidence of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and kidney cancer is also rising among women who have given birth.

On the other hand, not giving birth is associated with a decrease in overall female mortality; and breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast and ovarian cancer in mothers.

In fact, much suffering can be completely avoided!

In the United States, approximately 700 women die during pregnancy each year, but 60% of those deaths are preventable, according to the latest statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

While the overall incidence rate is not high, "most importantly, too many women are dying from pregnancy-related preventable diseases. We must identify and eliminate the gaps in their access to treatment. While we cannot prevent all tragedies, we can and should do more for them," said Dr. Anne Schuchat, Principal Deputy Director of the CDC.

Due to certain traditional beliefs, some pregnant women in hospitals have been pregnant six or seven times, but this is still their first time giving birth.

Because of certain traditional beliefs, pregnant women are given excessive nutrition during pregnancy, just as Lao She described in "Holding a Grandson": "They eat so much that oil drips down their pillows, and you can sweep out a big bowl of mixed vegetables from the depths of the bed." As a result, the mothers become overweight and the fetuses become huge, leading to a series of problems.

Gaining too much weight during pregnancy is bad for both the baby and the mother.

The idea that "eating more and supplementing your diet will result in a big, healthy baby boy" isn't necessarily a good thing. There's a range to weight gain during pregnancy; becoming too fat is bad for both the baby and the mother. Even being overweight before pregnancy can negatively impact the health of both the mother and the fetus.

According to a recent meta-analysis published in JAMA, more than 37.2% of women experienced adverse reactions, while the incidence of adverse reactions was as high as 61.1% for women with grade 3 obesity (BMI of 40 or above).

These "adverse reactions" include: preeclampsia, gestational hypertension, gestational diabetes, cesarean section, premature birth, and small or large gestational age at birth.

Four anesthesiologists and four obstetricians performed a cesarean section on a woman weighing 381 pounds. (Source: Eastday.com)

Because of certain traditional beliefs, many women begin to bear the pressure of childbirth from the moment they prepare for marriage, constantly running to the hospital to have a child, while their "pig teammates" lie at home laughing and watching TV.

However, having a child is not a one-person affair; the quality of both partners' reproductive cells affects the pregnancy outcome. In fact, older sperm can lead to abnormal embryonic and placental development, thus endangering the mother's safety!

Last year, BMJ stated outright that men who wish to father children should do so before the age of 45.

In short, for couples of childbearing age planning to have children, regardless of age or whether the pregnancy is normal, it's best to prepare comprehensively before trying to conceive. All necessary assessments should be conducted, any medical conditions should be treated, and all required examinations should be completed. As for those outdated habits, just get rid of them!

Of course, things aren't always that bad.

Although we mentioned earlier that there are various difficulties and obstacles on the road to having a baby, the situation is slowly improving.

Our medical standards are improving, and the maternal mortality rate is declining year by year. According to data from The Lancet last year, from 1996 to 2000, China's maternal mortality rate decreased by about 18%, from 108.73 per 100,000 people in 1996 to 89.4 per 100,000 people in 2000.

Note: The redder the color, the higher the mortality rate; the bluer the color, the lower the mortality rate.

In fact, this "decline in maternal mortality rate" is itself proof that the risks of childbirth are controllable.

With the overall economic development over the past thirty years, our medical and health resources, medical and health services, and healthcare capabilities have also improved, providing greater protection for the health of pregnant women and new mothers.

Of course, it is undeniable that the differences between the east and west are still significant, and there is still much work to be done to narrow the gap between regions.

What I've discussed above may seem distant to ordinary people like us, but let's not forget another thing worth celebrating:

On March 18 this year, the "Expert Working Committee on Labor Analgesia of the Chinese Medical Doctor Association" was officially established, and more than 900 hospitals across the country became the first batch of pilot hospitals for labor analgesia. Thousands of mothers can finally get rid of "level 10 labor pain"!

However, most of our mothers' generation endured immense pain during childbirth to bring us into the world. Therefore—

Mother's Day is coming

Hug your mom next to you.

Or you could call your mom.