You can pretend that no little girls in the world are being raped, or you can choose to learn from all the efforts made to resist these pains.
Lin Yi-han, through the words of Fang Si-qi, said: "In this story, the parents will always be absent. They skipped class, but they thought that school had not started yet."
The book "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" is a "story" written by author Lin Yihan based on her own personal experience. She was 12 years old when she was sexually assaulted.
Child sexual abuse is a sensitive topic; children are afraid to speak out, and adults avoid confronting it. Even basic sex education is often viewed as "dirty knowledge."
And so these kinds of things happen one after another. Not only in remote areas, but also in bright and prosperous cities.
The article "Suspected of Sexually Assaulting His Underage Daughter for Three Years: Unmasking the 'Painted Skin' of This CEO Father," published by Nanfeng Window, has been widely circulated and trended on Weibo in the past two days.
The article describes the events roughly as follows:
On New Year's Eve, December 31, 2015, Bao Yuming made his "daughter" Li Xingxing sit down and then hugged her tightly. She tried to struggle, but she was no match for the nearly 200-pound man with her 70-pound body.
Sleeping in clothes is unhealthy.
Bao Yuming undressed her, touched her body, and violated her. Li Xingxing felt excruciating pain, and when she came to her senses, she was bleeding from her genitals. The pain kept her awake all night.
However, Li Xingxing's attempts to report the incident to the police and her suicide attempt were all in vain, and the matter was eventually dropped. Bao Yuming then proceeded to assault her. After a hospital examination, she was diagnosed with severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), severe anxiety disorder, and vaginal inflammation.
Finally, Zhou Juan, the mother, found a lawyer named Li and insisted on filing a case. Li Xingxing went to the police station to give a statement again. During the process, she broke down several times and even slapped herself twice, forcing herself to recall those painful moments, and finally completed the statement.
'It's not just me; there are other children too. I'm hurt now, and other children will be hurt in the future.'
Today, April 10, 2020, Bao Yuming resigned from his position at ZTE Corporation.
The story doesn't end there. This lawyer, who holds the highest legal professional qualifications in both China and the United States and has spoken out against child sexual abuse cases, is currently out on bail pending trial in connection with a child sexual abuse case.
Why should we talk about "sex education"?
There are definitely a lot of people who don't take sex education for children seriously. They believe that you can't talk to children about sex, yet they don't know how to teach children to protect themselves; they hate those hypocrites, yet they feel that reporting them won't solve the problem.
The BBC produced a documentary in 2015 called "India's Daughter," which addressed this issue. I believe this is a suitable answer:
We cannot control external threats, but we can let children know where those dangers might be lurking.
Sex education is not only for children, but also for parents.
Tencent News and Phoenix Charity jointly held a public lecture on sex education. At the lecture, Sun Xuemei, editor-in-chief of Phoenix Charity and head of the "Girl Protection" organization, provided detailed statistics on child sexual abuse.
She pointed out that many people have misconceptions about child sexual abuse, such as: boys cannot be sexually abused, sexual abuse only targets older children, and the perpetrators are all strangers.
There are still many corners of this world where the sun has not yet reached.
If parents don't take this seriously enough, it will be the children who get hurt.
How should I conduct sex education for children?
After understanding the importance of sex education, the biggest headache for parents may be: how to teach their children to understand these things?
Parents should first understand that children of different ages will have different levels of understanding, so sex education can be done in stages, instead of all at once.
first step
Sex education often begins with children's curiosity about their genitals. However, parents generally avoid using the names of their genitals directly, instead using nicknames. This gives children the impression that these things are taboo and "dirty." If they experience abuse, they become even more reluctant to speak out.
Regarding sex education, Europe, America, South Korea, Hong Kong, and other places have rich experience. Therefore, it is recommended that parents learn about the sex education materials of various countries in advance, learn about different educational methods, and then choose the appropriate one to talk to their children.
Furthermore, when fathers take care of their sons and mothers take care of their daughters, there are many opportunities for close contact, such as when going to the toilet or taking a bath. These occasions are actually very suitable for teaching children about body parts and the physiological differences between men and women.
Step 2
After children have a basic understanding of their bodies, you can start telling them which areas are "no-go zones." If someone touches their "no-go zone," they should shout or seek help from others in another way.
Just like you would tell your child "Don't talk to strangers".
Children don't need to understand the deeper reasons; they just need to understand that this is a dangerous thing and instill this awareness in them.
Consciousness is a very, very important thing, and then let consciousness become a habit, become an instinct.
If you're worried your child might not understand, you can do a "practice run." For example, demonstrate an action and let your child decide whether they should run away or refuse.
It's important to note that children shouldn't think this is just a game...
Step 3
No one wants to come to this, but if misfortune does happen, don't remain silent.
Tell your child that it's not their fault. Encourage them to speak out bravely and let the bad guys get what they deserve.
Wang Xiaobo once said sadly in "The Silent Majority": "The so-called vulnerable group is those who have something to say but don't say it."
Parents should remember to be cautious and collect as much relevant evidence as possible for their children.
Besides parents, the attitudes of those around us are also very important. In modern society, some people still consider this a "shameful" thing, while others say they've become numb to it because they've seen it so much...
Without judging by morality, I just want to say: when an avalanche occurs, no snowflake is innocent.
Bystanders could be murderers.
Finally, I'd like to conclude with a quote from "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise":
"Ting, you're only eighteen. You have a choice. You can pretend that no one in the world takes pleasure in raping little girls, that no little girl has ever been raped, that Siqi never existed, that you've never shared a pacifier or a piano with another girl, that no one else has the same appetite and thoughts as you. You can live a peaceful and comfortable bourgeois life, pretend that there is no mental cancer in the world, pretend that there is no place in the world with iron bars, and that everyone behind the bars is in the terminal stage of mental cancer. You can pretend that the world only has macarons, hand-drip coffee, and imported stationery."
But you can also choose to experience all the pain that Si-qi has ever felt, and learn from all the efforts she made to resist that pain, from the time you spent together after birth to the time you read about in her diary.
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