In the current climate of rampant "depressing culture," topics such as "young people these days don't get married anymore," "young people these days don't have children anymore," and "people these days worry about midlife crises as early as their 20s" emerge every now and then.
Anxiety is not only pervasive on the internet, but also permeates real life.
In addition, negative media reports exaggerating low desires have led to young people developing a fear of marriage and childbirth, and the reluctance to have children has become a common phenomenon.
Even with the implementation of the universal two-child policy, the birth rate continues to decline.
In fact, not only in China, but the birth rate worldwide is generally showing a downward trend.
Japan has long entered a low-desire society characterized by "no marriage, no childbirth, and no home purchase," South Korea's fertility rate has fallen below 1, and fertility rates in developed countries and regions in Europe and America are also not high.
The 2019 State of the Nation Address of Russia emphasized that increasing the birth rate was a major goal and that a series of measures to encourage childbirth would be implemented.
A Russian HSE demographer analyzed data from 15,000 respondents to understand Russians' attitudes toward fertility.
He found that the average number of children expected by women of all ages was 2.28 in 2012 and 2.15 in 2017; the expected numbers for men were 2.3 and 2.14, respectively.
In other words, over the five years from 2012 to 2017, the average number of children women expected decreased significantly by 0.13, while that of men decreased by 0.16.
The research report analyzed the reasons why participants postponed having children.
Among these factors, economics is the primary reason, with approximately 73% of women and 70% of men believing that their financial situation is insufficient to raise a child, and 66% of women and 69% of men believing that they need to find a higher-paying job.
Housing constraints are another major reason, with 58% of women and 56% of men believing that their current housing cannot provide enough living space for their children.
Other common reasons include: wanting to “live for yourself” (49% of women and 51% of men), not having a partner (49% of women and 48% of men), difficulty balancing work and childcare (36% of women and 33% of men), and a spouse wanting to postpone childbirth (36% of women and 42% of men).
What's the situation in China?
How expensive is it to raise a child?
The more modern a society is, the higher the cost of raising children.
In developed countries in Europe and America, parents are more willing to send their children to private schools with high tuition fees but excellent educational resources in order to help them get into Ivy League universities.
It is estimated that the average American family has an annual income of $35,000, while tuition and expenses for children at private schools amount to $18,000 per year, accounting for 51.5% of family expenditures.
Nowadays, primary school students in China attend several extracurricular classes in addition to regular schoolwork. If a family is relatively well-off, extracurricular classes such as piano, dance, and fencing can cost tens of thousands of yuan a year.
Such an expense is indeed a considerable sum for an average middle-class family.
Everyone says you shouldn't let your child lose at the starting line, but now parents are the very first starting line for their children.
Emmmm... Thinking back to those days, I would get a beating from my parents if I asked them for 20 yuan to go on a spring outing.
More children, smaller house
Housing restrictions are another major reason.
Generally speaking, a living space of around 40 square meters per person is the most comfortable.
In developed countries in Europe and America, the per capita living space is over 40 square meters, with the United States having a per capita living space of 65.03 square meters and the United Kingdom having a per capita living space of 49.4 square meters.
However, it is difficult for the per capita living space in my country's first-tier cities to reach this standard.
If a family decides to have two or three or more children, their existing living space will become extremely cramped. Moving to a new house could leave already financially strapped families burdened with hefty mortgage payments for the next decade or more.
That's right, in some places you need to work hard for years just to afford a place with a toilet...
Besides the size of the house, the location of the house is also very important, such as a house in a good school district.
Whether in China or abroad, school district housing is highly sought after by parents.
In an increasingly competitive society, school district housing means that children can enjoy better educational resources, have a better social network, and more easily enter top schools from an early age.
Parents are scrambling to buy school district properties, naturally driving up prices. A small, old apartment in a Beijing school district has sold for as much as 170,000 yuan per square meter, and some have even bought a basement apartment next to a top-tier primary school for 10.5 million yuan.
These events, which have a touch of magical realism, actually happened in first-tier cities.
"I don't want my life to consist only of my children."
Nearly half of the respondents believe that raising children is, in some sense, a "shackle," both financially and in terms of energy.
They want to be able to "live for themselves".
Raising a child is not like raising a pet. Parents need to take on a lot of responsibility and spend more time and money during the child's growth.
After having children, the focus of life shifts.
Many parents turned down parties and gave up travel and vacation plans to spend time with their children; many parents were so anxious when helping their children with their homework; many parents rented apartments near schools to accompany their children to study in order to ensure their children's success in the college entrance examination.
This is the norm for being a parent.
Why is it so hard to find a partner?
In her article, "Why Do Many Young People of Marriage Age Not Want to Get Married Anymore?", Li Yinhe mentions that in the 1980s, the proportion of people living alone was 2%. By 2007, this figure had risen to 12% in major cities. The latest statistics show that China's population living alone has reached 16%, or approximately 200 million people living alone.
In real life, various limitations make it difficult for them to meet their ideal partner. Furthermore, the rising divorce rate is also a reason for the increasing number of single people.
With a decrease in the marriage rate, the birth rate naturally decreases as well.
In addition, the pressure of raising children also makes young men and women more cautious about marriage and childbirth.
The "absentee parenting" phenomenon that has become popular online in recent years is caused by the lack of responsibility of the spouse in raising the child.
Without the support of a spouse, the mental stress of raising children alone increases exponentially.
It's difficult to balance work and childcare.
Most working women have had this experience: expressing milk during their breaks at work.
Breast engorgement can cause discomfort, and if not treated promptly, it can lead to blocked milk ducts and milk stasis, eventually resulting in mastitis.
In addition, most professional women experience a decline in their career development due to pregnancy.
Bosses often avoid assigning important tasks to pregnant or breastfeeding employees, and may even reassign them to other positions. New mothers also need to work harder than others to return to the workforce.
Taking care of a child is also physically demanding. Newborns often need to be fed every two hours, and their crying at night can also lead to sleep deprivation for parents.
The British magazine *Mother & Baby* reports that young mothers sleep an average of four hours per night from birth to four months of age, and their sleep only increases to five hours when their children are 18 months old. This lack of sleep leaves many parents feeling overwhelmed at work.
Behind the low birth rate lies a deeper reflection on raising children among contemporary young people of childbearing age.
The 996 work schedule leaves them no time for anything outside of their lives, and the unattainable housing prices and the pressure to survive make them feel suffocated. The negative energy in their lives also makes them pessimistic about the future, worrying that their children will suffer because of their parents' lack of ability.
Perhaps after actively addressing these issues, the birth rate may rebound.
On the other hand, having children should indeed be a responsible act by an adult based on reality and after full consideration, rather than a passive result of catering to the demands of society, elders, and spouse.
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