Do you know a woman who always seems perfectly at ease with her partner—they laugh at each other's jokes, understand each other's feelings, and are deeply in love (they're best friends)? Actually, the reason this girl is so happy in her relationship is simple: she treats her boyfriend the right way, and he never seems to get enough of her company. What does "treating her boyfriend the right way" mean? It means she treats him like a friend, giving him five-star support, understanding, and the kind of relaxation we usually unconsciously offer to female friends. If you want to reap the same benefits in your own love life, try these suggestions, and believe me, you'll see a difference…
1. Sharing activities
For women, inviting female friends shopping, yoga, spas, and whatever else they can think of is second nature, but these activity-based relationships shouldn't be shared solely with female friends. Men love talking about shared pursuits, even if he might not go for a manicure/pedicure (just like you wouldn't spend a whole day watching basketball), that's okay, there are plenty of other things to do. Being workout partners is easy (you'll need to go more often to tone your glutes!), or if you two often go out to eat together on Saturday nights, consider delving into a cookbook and trying a slightly challenging recipe, like braised duck with onions. Whether the final product is amazing or awful, the fact that you ended up ordering takeout strengthens team spirit by working towards a common goal. And by deepening your shared history with your partner, you add something in common and experience a deeper bond.
2. Encourage him
Women often put in a lot of effort to make their female friends feel great, showering them with confidence-boosting compliments like, "You look amazing! That color suits you perfectly!" or "Of course, you should email that guy—he's lucky to have you!" While we might think about our boyfriends' world and even brag about them to our friends or family, we often don't think to say these kinds of compliments. Perhaps this is because we assume men have an invulnerable ego, but the truth is, they are just as emotionally volatile as your female friends and also enjoy receiving compliments. So, if he just got a promotion at work, raise your glass to him at dinner and clearly tell him why he deserves it. Or try a simple, impromptu remark like, "You look fantastic in that shirt; it makes you look radiant." Don't be surprised if he suddenly finds himself spending more time with you than before.
3. Let him be himself again.
Most women find it hard to love a man who is his true self. They want to change his hairstyle, clothes, job, and sometimes even his friends to achieve their ideal. They're much more accepting of differences with their own best friends. The fact is, they can be proud to have a tech enthusiast, a yoga fanatic, or a fashionista as a close confidant. Ruth Anna Hall, a sales assistant in New York, has learned to relax and appreciate the remarkable behavior of men in her own romantic relationships (and it works out). "When we're out, I might want to listen to music in a quiet music room, but all he wants is to go to the nearby diving spot and do some diving." Instead of spending the whole night with a sullen face because of his rude behavior, she enjoys her boyfriends' funny conversations. "Of course, most men do things that make girls laugh!" she says, "but that's just how they are, so why not let him continue and enjoy it?"
4. Tell him your thoughts.
We don't expect our best friends to always know what we're thinking. The fact is, we love exchanging our thoughts, hopes, and fears—it's the happiest thing. But then why are we so disappointed when our boyfriends don't read our minds? We all make the mistake of being overly romantic, thinking things like, "If he'd been listening, he should know exactly where to take me for Valentine's Day," or "If he were truly focused on me, he should know I'm being driven crazy by a virus on my computer and should come to my aid." But believe me, simply telling him where you'd like to eat for Valentine's Day, or asking him to bring his antivirus software, will save you a lot of unnecessary disappointment. After all, two heads are better than one, so don't add any more cryptic banter to your communication just because you've decided he's your other half.
5. Give him space
Sometimes, girlfriends can disappear for a while. They're too busy at work to reply to your emails, and don't get angry at them for it. It's not a big deal, but for some reason, the rules change with men: "We complain when they don't return a call, or get upset if they want to attend an all-male party." But remember, striking a balance between "self" time and "us" time makes your time together much better. Bridget Clingham found their relationship became so wonderful once she stopped constantly monitoring where her boyfriend was. She said, "When your friends are doing things with other people, you don't interrupt them, so why can't you do the same for the one you love? Meanwhile, I also have time to hang out with our female friends and chat about girls. Afterward, we get together for coffee, and by spending time separately, we both feel refreshed and fulfilled."
6. Enhance his psychological resilience and encourage and praise his strengths.
Every man has his strengths. These strengths should be frequently encouraged and praised by those close to him, stimulating his desire to conquer. Women, on the other hand, need to continuously improve their psychological qualities. When faced with a man's strengths, they should let him feel their good upbringing and character.
7. Adopt an uncompromising and relentless approach towards men.
This is an era of equality for all. Especially in front of your boyfriend, it's essential to always project confidence. Moreover, there are increasingly more arrogant men these days, and many of them will mock their girlfriends to elevate themselves. Women should adopt a policy of uncompromising and resolute attitude towards such men.
Men often make sarcastic remarks simply to belittle their girlfriends and satisfy their own sense of superiority. They aim to psychologically manipulate you, making you believe the problem lies with you. At this point, women must understand that this has absolutely nothing to do with their own abilities. As long as you are confident and respond with a smile, the best strategy to defeat a man is to neither compromise nor give in.
8. Possess skills or talents that the other party doesn't have, but that you are good at.
This kind of killer skill can give a woman a sense of superiority in a relationship. It's not just men who can have that sense of superiority; women can too. All they need to do is learn some skills that their partner is bad at but they excel at, and keep those skills a secret from their partner.
Then, when you go to a party together, your boyfriend keeps chatting and bragging to others. Suddenly, you can walk up to the cello and play one of your favorite pieces. Get everyone cheering for you, and your boyfriend will be amazed by your gesture, slowly winning you over. With enough effort, any talent can be mastered.
9. Always stay alert and occasionally use feigned indifference.
No matter how much you love someone, you must always stay true to yourself and remain clear-headed. Don't become too infatuated. Especially when you're not ready to get married, you should both have some personal space. After all, you have your own family, your own career, and your own friends.
This is to let him know that your world isn't just about him, and that you don't have to revolve around him. Even if this comes at a high price, or you suffer the pain of longing, the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" still holds true. When the one you love is certain you'll be with him, coolly say, "I have some things to do. I can't be with you." This will definitely be a big blow to him. Of course, this tactic shouldn't be used too often, because doing it too frequently will make him feel unimportant, and your strategy of playing hard to get will lose its effectiveness.
