Getting to know each other: Cultivating qualities that attract the opposite sex
First, you need to be a woman with "background." This "background" isn't about narrow family background or social standing, but rather entering a man's world with a certain "background." For example, if he's heard of you before he actually knows you, and all the feedback has been positive, then he'll approach you with anticipation. Another example: a guy might meet a girl at a stinky tofu stall, and he might see her as the lead dancer at a performance. The two girls might be similar in appearance, but the girl under the spotlight, surrounded by the aura, is more attractive, isn't she? Perhaps the dancer also eats at the stinky tofu stall, and perhaps the girl eating the stinky tofu is the real "rich, beautiful, and successful" one. But we can't underestimate the influence of different environments on human emotions.
So, if your skin isn't fair and you're not thin, try to cultivate an athletic look; wander around with a racket. If you're slender, wear glasses, and are quiet yet secretly passionate, spend more time in the library, carrying a few books. If you're naturally a bit slow-witted, learn to be cute. Utilize certain "backgrounds" and "props" to highlight your worthy of admiration and pursuit. Find your unique characteristics and strengths, and then leverage them—that's roughly the idea.
Friendship stage: Satisfying a man's ego
Whether you're truly strong or just outwardly tough, you must make a man feel tired! This "tiredness" means not letting him be idle; you need to show vulnerability and be affectionate. Of course, this doesn't mean demanding he hand you a water glass even when it's right in front of you, or insisting he buy you food when you're too lazy to move. That's not showing weakness; that's having a princess complex. "Making a man tired" here means letting him demonstrate the abilities and self-respect expected of a man.
The best approach is to let him know you're strong, but not in his presence; show that you can't handle many things without him. This way, he won't worry about you seeking help from other men and getting taken advantage of, and he'll feel a sense of accomplishment. There's a saying that men don't truly like foolish women, but rather women who know how to play dumb. Many girls might scoff at this, wondering why someone smart has to pretend to be foolish. Actually, it's a great wisdom. After all, being too sharp can hurt both yourself and others; playing dumb is a peaceful personality trait, a non-aggressive attitude, and a kind gesture that gives others leeway.
The "almost lovers" stage: Willing to do anything for love.
With a powerful background and a prestigious aura, along with the skill of feigning ignorance, the next step is to "use any means necessary" at the opportune moment. Why the opportune moment? Because young men are inevitably prone to instability, fickleness, and changing affections frequently. In short, men are no good! But what can be done? A man's infidelity, like a woman's premenstrual syndrome or prenatal syndrome, is physiologically determined. Reason, education, and maturity can only restrain and curb it, but cannot eradicate it.
At the right time, when you feel he's wavering, not when it's completely impossible for him to be yours (otherwise it's just being unreasonable), you should "go to any lengths" to snatch him away. Actually, men are less secure than women; they're quite emotionally sensitive. When he sees a woman so devoted to him and suddenly realizes his own irresistible charm, he's very likely to fall in love with the woman who proved her attractiveness. After all, you only go to such lengths for something you truly love. So, don't be the saint in love, don't be so yielding.
Aside from being a third party, if you meet a man you can have a serious relationship with, you should put in some effort to make him unable to leave you. Some girls are naturally arrogant, conceited, and incredibly aloof, believing that if a man loves her, he must pursue her and tolerate everything about her. To such girls, there's only one thing to say: Even your parents can't tolerate everything about you, so why do you expect someone who has no blood relation to you to be exceptionally good to you?
It's not that a man can't be exceptionally good to a woman, but he won't be exceptionally good to her from the very beginning. Nobody's stupid; a man will only treat a woman well once he knows she truly loves him. Don't wait for those girls who passively wait for someone to come to them; even if you do, the rabbit will be dead. Lower your expectations, raise your standards—you can't go wrong. But in reality, many people have high expectations and randomly choose from among the less attractive suitors, thinking they're princesses. A true princess knows how to train a knight worthy of her. The training may be tough, but that knight belongs to her alone.
The honeymoon phase: Approaching relationships from a male perspective
Men tend to think more directly and less concerned with details, making them much less complicated than women. Therefore, to win a man's heart, you need to think like a man. Don't be petty or constantly ask questions like, "Do you love me?" If you're too indecisive and anxious, men will become even more direct and less concerned, and won't bother with you. So, girls, you need to develop the ability to fall asleep immediately after an argument, and to be able to continue discussing serious matters even when you're unhappy. Don't get bogged down in trivial things like, "Why didn't he give me a morning call today?" (Maybe he just overslept).
Over time, a man will discover that beneath your gentle exterior lies such a magnanimous and open-minded heart. He will feel secure, because having a girlfriend like you is far more reassuring than having one who constantly overthinks. This not only benefits the relationship but, more importantly, it benefits your own character.
Preservation phase: Praise him occasionally.
You need to know how to praise and encourage men. A child's development from insecurity to confidence largely depends on whether their parents suppress or encourage them. The same applies to couples. A woman doesn't necessarily want a man to praise her abilities or talents, especially not her partner. She might appreciate being told she's beautiful and cute, even if she feels a little silly and needs constant care and attention. But men are different. Men are creatures who desperately crave praise. Whether it's complimenting their competence, handsomeness, or even the smallest thing, they'll be happy to receive it.
Women should praise subtly and imperceptibly, as if stating a fact. For example, if two people are playing cards and the other keeps winning, the girl could even throw the cards in his face and yell, "Why are you so good! You always beat me! I'm not playing with you anymore!" While it's cute, even a little wild, behavior, the man will definitely be thrilled. Or, for instance, if two people are walking together and the man has a better sense of direction and always finds his way, the woman could say, "You're like a radar detector! Haha. Why don't you bark for me a couple of times?" The man, pleased, will bark. In short, even using harsh words or feigning anger to praise is acceptable. Praise doesn't always have to be a smiling, "Honey, you're so amazing!"
Praise him to your friends, especially your boyfriend's friends. Men are naturally jealous, and when a not-so-outstanding man is praised like this by his girlfriend, those around him will be envious. Over time, he'll seem more outstanding. This is also a great way to "train" your boyfriend; we just need to give him time and space to grow.
Three essential skills for praising your boyfriend!
a. We should frequently compare his strengths with others' weaknesses.
b. Frequently and repeatedly point out his typical strengths, such as being attentive, quick-witted, and reliable. If your boyfriend really doesn't have many strengths, but you still want to be with him, then praise him: "Honey, you have such a great attitude. I don't feel tired being with you."
c. Regularly create opportunities for him to demonstrate his abilities.
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